Page 12 of Guarded Love

I’ve dated other people since then. Okay, fine, “dated” is generous. I’ve gone on a few first dates that didn’t go anywhere. But still. I’m over it. Over him.

So why does it feel like my heart is trying to slam its way out of my chest?

"Look! They're starting!" Abue grabs my arm, drawing my attention back to what’s happening on the ice.

The ref skates to center ice, puck in hand. Levi crouches low, while Knox and Asher flank him. Blaise moves into position behind them, and I can tell he’s locked in.

The puck drops with a sharp smack.

Levi wins it and snaps it back to Blaise, who barely adjusts as he absorbs the pass and glides backward. His head lifts, just once, and then he threads a pass to Knox so smooth it looks scripted.

The crowd surges as Knox bolts down the left side, flying across the ice. Asher matches his pace on the opposite wing,creating a perfect channel for attack. Although I’ve avoided Knox’s games in recent years, I've seen him do something like this a thousand times and it still makes me nervous.

The defender on the other team lunges at Knox, but he's already sending the puck sliding right to Asher, who zeroes in on the net. The goalie makes a desperate lunge, but comes up empty handed.

The arena erupts, and I’m almost forced to put my hands over my ears.

"GOAL!" Dad shouts, pumping his fist in the air.

Mom jumps up beside him, and Abue waves her glitter sign so vigorously I worry she might accidentally take out the guy behind us. Which wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, honestly.

Asher's teammates mob him and start howling like the wolves they're named for. They're thirty seconds into the game and already up one-nothing.

"That was sick!" Selene yells over the noise, high-fiving Jade.

I clap along, trying to look like a normal person who isn't having an internal meltdown. Because this is fine. Totally fine. Just watching hockey with my family and friends, like any other college student might do on a Friday night.

The celebration dies down, and the players reset for the next faceoff. I catch myself watching Blaise as he glides back into position, his movements so fluid it's like he's barely touching the ice.

"Why are you looking at him like that?" Abue whispers, leaning close enough that her soft floral perfume wraps around me.

I snap my gaze away from Blaise. "I’m not looking at anyone," I reply quickly. I'm not looking at anyone.

Abue's knowing smile makes my cheeks burn hotter. "If you say so."

I try to focus on Knox, on his plays, on anything but the defenseman wearing number thirty-three. But my eyes keep finding him anyway. Damnit. I do my best to make sure Abue can’t call me out again.

The first period flies by and I've almost convinced myself I'm fine when the buzzer sounds. 3-1, Red Wolves. Knox has an assist, Levi scored, and Blaise...well, Blaise has been everywhere at once, stopping shots, clearing pucks, and making passes.

"Your brother is on fire tonight," Jade says, nudging me with her elbow.

"He knows we are in the audience," I reply, grateful for the chance to talk about Knox instead. "Plus, let’s be real. He's motivated by food."

"Smart man." Selene laughs, her eyes following Knox as he skates toward the tunnel.

"I need something hot to drink before I freeze to death," Hailey announces, standing up. "Anyone want anything?"

"Hot chocolate," Jade and Selene say in unison.

"I'll come with you," I offer, desperate for a few minutes away from the ice and away from him. "Mom? Dad? Abue? Want anything?"

"Coffee for your father," Mom says. "And tea for me if they have it."

Abue waves us off. "Nothing for me, sweetheart. I have everything I need right here."

She pats her oversized purse, which I know contains everything anyone could think of, including enough snacks to feed half the arena. Abue believes in being prepared and there have been many times I’ve been grateful for how prepared she was is.

Hailey and I squeeze past the others in our row and make our way up the concrete steps. Once we are out of the seating area, I take a deep breath of the slightly less freezing air inthe concourse. The break from watching the game and from watching him is exactly what I needed.