Page 10 of Guarded Love

"Sure.”

He pulls out a Red Wolves hockey jersey and holds it out to me. I would laugh because I’ve been avoiding athletes and everything about them since I broke up with my ex, and now here I am about to wrap myself in the very thing I've tried to distance myself from.

"Thanks," I say, accepting the garment. Our fingers brush, and I pull away quickly as if I’d gotten bit.

"Bathroom's down the hall," he tosses out there.

I nod again, although I only half heard him, and slip out of the room with the jersey clutched to my chest. Once I make it to the bathroom, I’m thankful no one else is in there. I walk up to one of the mirrors and stare at my reflection. I look a whole hot mess with flushed cheeks, slightly smudged mascara and slightly red eyes. I look exactly like what I am: a girl who's had too much to drink and made a move she shouldn't have.

I splash cold water on my face and change into Blaise's jersey, which falls to mid-thigh. I make the quick decision to keep my leggings on because I don’t want him to think I’m trying to make another move. I hate that I even have to think that.

When I return to the room, Blaise is sitting on his bed in red pajama pants and a t-shirt and I’m not surprised to find a controller in his hands. He looks up when I enter. His eyes linger for a moment on the jersey, and something flashes across his face that I can't quite read. Embarrassment? Regret? Whatever it is, it's gone as quickly as it came, and he's back to staring at his game.

"Feel better?" he asks, his voice neutral and I know it’s on purpose.

"Yep," I say with more bite than necessary. It’s then I notice the pizza box and water bottles are gone as if they were never here. Everything neat and tidy, just like Blaise himself.

I make my way to Knox's bed and toss the top I’d had on onto the bed. I dig into my bag and grab my phone before getting underneath the covers. I quickly shoot Ari a text to let her know I’m fine and make a mental note to myself that I’ll need to remake Knox’s bed before I leave in the morning.

Blaise's fingers tap against the controller, and it’s the only noise in the room. I try to settle into Knox's bed and pull thecovers up to my chin. A million thoughts race through my mind as I stare at the ceiling, the events of the night replaying like a broken record. It's all too much to process and I’m still angry about it.

I steal a glance at Blaise, his profile illuminated by the light coming from the TV screen. He seems lost in the game, but part of me thinks it’s an act to ignore the awkwardness between us. Well, if that’s what he wants, then so be it.

“Night,” I toss over my shoulder as I turn my body so that I’m lying on my side, facing the wall.

“Good night,” he responds in kind. “Let me know if you need anything.”

And that’s the last thing I hear before I pass out.

3

WILLOW

PRESENT DAY

The last place I want to be is here.

But what would it look like if I bailed?

Not that Mom or Abue would let me anyway, so even going down that rabbit hole is pointless. And then Dad would get that tight, disappointed look—not mad, just quiet and heavy—and suddenly I’d be the problem instead of the girl simply trying not to combust.

Still, I really, truly, desperately don’t want to be here, even though it’s senior night and my big brother is being honored.

Which is another reason I can’t leave. I won’t walk away from this moment, no matter how much it’s physically and emotionally choking me out. I’d regret it. And Knox would never say anything, but he’d feel it.

So I force myself to smile, even as my boots stick to dried soda and the guy behind us screams, “LET’S GO RED WOLVES!” directly into my ear for what has to be the eighth time.

He could at least back up half an inch, but no—he’s clearly on a personal mission to rupture every eardrum in section 106.The mix of his hot breath and the cold air makes my face want to freeze and melt at the same time.

This sucks.

“Everything okay?”

I turn my head to Selene Davis, my brother’s girlfriend, and offer her a strained half-smile. “As okay as it’s going to be until I get out of here.”

Selene laughs, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear. “Your game face is brutal tonight.”

“I’m not built for this,” I say, just as the man behind us belts another, “RED WOLVES, BABY!” into the void. “I’m not getting paid enough to be here.”