Page 5
Story: Grumpy Boss of the Year
“Okay, let me get Harriet ready to talk to you,” she says agreeably, and I smile as I think about talking to my adorable niece.
“Perfect.” I step into the elevator and press the button to take me to the lobby. I can hear Daisy calling Harriet, telling her that I’m on the phone. Harriet squeals with delight. She made me promise to call her every night I was away, which I thought was a lot, seeing as I never called her every night when I was in the UK, but I still agreed. She is my only niece and I love her. And I know I’m the only male figure in her life, as her shithead dad buggered off to Ibiza to be a bartender and screw different tourists every night. Daisy has always had the worst taste in men.
“Uncle Liam?” Harriet is breathless as she speaks into the phone.
“One second, doll,” I say, waiting to get out of the elevator, just in case the call drops. The doors beep to alert me of my arrival, and I step into the lobby, with its white marble floors and grand columns. “Okay, I’m out. How was your day, Harriet?”
“It was so good, Uncle Liam. Mummy took me and Victoria and Kayla to the cinema, and we sawWicked. I wanted to pretend I was Glinda and sing all the songs. We got candy floss and crisps. I got salt-and-vinegar Hula Hoops, and Victoria got Monster Munch. Kayla got peanuts. Gross. Then mummy let me get some fudge, even though she said I had to brush my teeth really well or they would fall out. But I don’t really care if they fall out because then the tooth fairy will come and give me another twenty pounds, and then I can go to?—”
“Slow down, Harriet.” I laugh as my heart warms. “Do you miss me?”
“Very much.” She giggles. “Mummy said if we play our cards right, we might get a free trip to the Big Apple, but I told her I don’t like apples; I prefer grapes. Did you know that Victoria’s favorite fruit is mangoes? She said she had the best, most juiciest mango in Jamaica when her dad took her last year, and I said I wanted to go to Jamaica, as well, to try them. So, can you take us to Jamaica instead, please?”
“I wasn’t aware that I was taking you anywhere.” I can’t help but laugh. I know my younger sister well. She’s seven years younger than me, and while she is wickedly independent, she loves the perks of having an older brother who is doing well.
“Not just me. Both of us. And maybe Victoria and Kayla, if you want them to come, too. They would have to ask their?—”
“No, no, that’s quite all right.” I interrupt her quickly. “I think I can plan a quick trip for you and your mum, but I don’t think I have room for your friends.” There is no way on God’s greenearth that Daisy wants to chaperone Harriet and her friends, and I have zero interest in being around three ten-year-old girls. “I’ll speak to your mum and see if we can arrange something.”
“Thank you, Uncle Liam. You’re the best.”
“Remember that when I’m old and need someone to wipe my butt.”
“Eww, Uncle Liam.” She giggles. “I will hire the best nurse. You just have to promise not to complain so much, or she’ll quit.”
I burst out laughing then. If even my little niece is aware of how hard it is for me to hire and keep good staff, then maybe I do have a problem. I’m not one for self-introspection, and I don’t normally take on the thoughts of others, but I trust my family and my attornies more than anyone in the world. I’ll have to give some thought as to how I interact with my staff in the future.
“Are you being a good girl for Mummy?” I ask, knowing that Harriet is precocious and wild and often up to tricks.
“I’m always a good girl. Please tell Santa that.”
“I’m meeting with him next week, so I’ll put in a good word.” I laugh as I walk through the lobby and onto the main street. I stare at a honking yellow cab as it speeds down the road as if it is attempting to make it to the finish line first at a Formula 1 race. It barely misses hitting an older lady that is crossing the street, and I can see her screaming and shaking her hands at him.
None of the passersby even look up at the obnoxious sounds of the horn or the expletives coming from her mouth. They are too busy chatting on their phones or staring at their screens to realize they missed a near-death. I wonder if they would have looked up if she had been hit and screamed a blood-curdling scream. Maybe to record the incident and post it on social media as a way to say, “Look what happened to me today and caused my eardrums to burst.”
When I’m in big cities, I am always reminded of how insular life is, even with millions of people around. There are throngs of people and yet we are all invisible to each other. The lack of care and concern should be heartbreaking, yet it makes me feel nothing. The ice-cold wall around my heart is three feet deep and covered in steel. I, like most people, only really see those I love and care about. Life has hardened us.
I think back to my uni days at Oxford, as a young man floating by on emotions and philosophy. I used to be different back then. Thinking and caring for those around me. Until my first girlfriend cheated on me with the son of a duke and casually broke my heart, causing my worldview of love and compassion to come crashing down.
And with that suffering came my lack of care for others and eagle-eyed focus on making money and ensuring that no one would ever break my heart again. Nietzsche once said,"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."
Charity Elizabeth Montgomery caused me to suffer, and because of her, I am now one of the richest men in the world. I wasn’t gentry or rich enough for her then, but I used those feelings to change my life. I got my degree in philosophy, politics, and economics and never looked back.
“Uncle Liam, can we go to Disney World in Florida? And Universal Studios? I want to ride the Hogwarts train.”
“We’ll see,” I say, slightly distracted as I see a slightly familiar gaggle of women headed toward the firm. They are so far away that I’m not sure how I know them...until I see the unmistakable red hair of Skye and realize that she is with Lila, Juniper, and Skye’s best friend, Elisabetta, who I’ve met twice before but have never really had a conversation with. The women are laughing about something, and I wait for them to see me and give me some sass. “Harriet, I’ve just seen some...work colleagues approaching and I want to say hello. Can I call you tomorrow?”
“Okay, chat tomorrow,” she says and hangs up. I lean back against the building and study the four women. Each one is beautiful but strikingly different. All of them are off-limits to me, though. Lila, Skye, and Juniper because they are all taken and Elisabetta because she just looks like bad news, with her defiant chin, challenging light brown eyes, and deliciously long raven hair. Her lips are juicy and bright red, and she’s wearing knee-high boots with fishnet stockings, a short black skirt, and a silver sequined top that shows off her ample bosoms. She stands out among the women.
“Don’t even think about it,” I lecture myself under my breath as she looks up and makes eye contact with me. Her eyes narrow for a few seconds before she turns to her friends.
“Look who crawled out of the sewer,” Elisabetta says loudly, almost as if she wants me to hear her insult. She looks over at me again, and I smirk. It will take a lot more than a comment like that to offend me. I step forward and walk over to the women in a deliberately languid fashion.
I sense a small amount of trepidation in the air as if they are not that happy to see me, so I plaster on my most charming smile. First, I look at Skye. She's been the friendliest of the women thus far, then I look at Lila and Juniper. I save my most dazzling smile for Elisabetta, who just grimaces in response. It takes everything in me not to burst out laughing.
"Fancy seeing you beautiful ladies here." I nod my head in a small bow, though I can’t keep my eyes off of the sultry and tantalizing Elisabetta. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"There's no pleasure here for you, Liam," Elisabetta retorts immediately, her fingers playing with her long dark hair as she gazes at me dismissively. "Lila has come to see Max and drop off some files he left at home, and then we're going to grab drinks and perform some songs at karaoke."
“Perfect.” I step into the elevator and press the button to take me to the lobby. I can hear Daisy calling Harriet, telling her that I’m on the phone. Harriet squeals with delight. She made me promise to call her every night I was away, which I thought was a lot, seeing as I never called her every night when I was in the UK, but I still agreed. She is my only niece and I love her. And I know I’m the only male figure in her life, as her shithead dad buggered off to Ibiza to be a bartender and screw different tourists every night. Daisy has always had the worst taste in men.
“Uncle Liam?” Harriet is breathless as she speaks into the phone.
“One second, doll,” I say, waiting to get out of the elevator, just in case the call drops. The doors beep to alert me of my arrival, and I step into the lobby, with its white marble floors and grand columns. “Okay, I’m out. How was your day, Harriet?”
“It was so good, Uncle Liam. Mummy took me and Victoria and Kayla to the cinema, and we sawWicked. I wanted to pretend I was Glinda and sing all the songs. We got candy floss and crisps. I got salt-and-vinegar Hula Hoops, and Victoria got Monster Munch. Kayla got peanuts. Gross. Then mummy let me get some fudge, even though she said I had to brush my teeth really well or they would fall out. But I don’t really care if they fall out because then the tooth fairy will come and give me another twenty pounds, and then I can go to?—”
“Slow down, Harriet.” I laugh as my heart warms. “Do you miss me?”
“Very much.” She giggles. “Mummy said if we play our cards right, we might get a free trip to the Big Apple, but I told her I don’t like apples; I prefer grapes. Did you know that Victoria’s favorite fruit is mangoes? She said she had the best, most juiciest mango in Jamaica when her dad took her last year, and I said I wanted to go to Jamaica, as well, to try them. So, can you take us to Jamaica instead, please?”
“I wasn’t aware that I was taking you anywhere.” I can’t help but laugh. I know my younger sister well. She’s seven years younger than me, and while she is wickedly independent, she loves the perks of having an older brother who is doing well.
“Not just me. Both of us. And maybe Victoria and Kayla, if you want them to come, too. They would have to ask their?—”
“No, no, that’s quite all right.” I interrupt her quickly. “I think I can plan a quick trip for you and your mum, but I don’t think I have room for your friends.” There is no way on God’s greenearth that Daisy wants to chaperone Harriet and her friends, and I have zero interest in being around three ten-year-old girls. “I’ll speak to your mum and see if we can arrange something.”
“Thank you, Uncle Liam. You’re the best.”
“Remember that when I’m old and need someone to wipe my butt.”
“Eww, Uncle Liam.” She giggles. “I will hire the best nurse. You just have to promise not to complain so much, or she’ll quit.”
I burst out laughing then. If even my little niece is aware of how hard it is for me to hire and keep good staff, then maybe I do have a problem. I’m not one for self-introspection, and I don’t normally take on the thoughts of others, but I trust my family and my attornies more than anyone in the world. I’ll have to give some thought as to how I interact with my staff in the future.
“Are you being a good girl for Mummy?” I ask, knowing that Harriet is precocious and wild and often up to tricks.
“I’m always a good girl. Please tell Santa that.”
“I’m meeting with him next week, so I’ll put in a good word.” I laugh as I walk through the lobby and onto the main street. I stare at a honking yellow cab as it speeds down the road as if it is attempting to make it to the finish line first at a Formula 1 race. It barely misses hitting an older lady that is crossing the street, and I can see her screaming and shaking her hands at him.
None of the passersby even look up at the obnoxious sounds of the horn or the expletives coming from her mouth. They are too busy chatting on their phones or staring at their screens to realize they missed a near-death. I wonder if they would have looked up if she had been hit and screamed a blood-curdling scream. Maybe to record the incident and post it on social media as a way to say, “Look what happened to me today and caused my eardrums to burst.”
When I’m in big cities, I am always reminded of how insular life is, even with millions of people around. There are throngs of people and yet we are all invisible to each other. The lack of care and concern should be heartbreaking, yet it makes me feel nothing. The ice-cold wall around my heart is three feet deep and covered in steel. I, like most people, only really see those I love and care about. Life has hardened us.
I think back to my uni days at Oxford, as a young man floating by on emotions and philosophy. I used to be different back then. Thinking and caring for those around me. Until my first girlfriend cheated on me with the son of a duke and casually broke my heart, causing my worldview of love and compassion to come crashing down.
And with that suffering came my lack of care for others and eagle-eyed focus on making money and ensuring that no one would ever break my heart again. Nietzsche once said,"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."
Charity Elizabeth Montgomery caused me to suffer, and because of her, I am now one of the richest men in the world. I wasn’t gentry or rich enough for her then, but I used those feelings to change my life. I got my degree in philosophy, politics, and economics and never looked back.
“Uncle Liam, can we go to Disney World in Florida? And Universal Studios? I want to ride the Hogwarts train.”
“We’ll see,” I say, slightly distracted as I see a slightly familiar gaggle of women headed toward the firm. They are so far away that I’m not sure how I know them...until I see the unmistakable red hair of Skye and realize that she is with Lila, Juniper, and Skye’s best friend, Elisabetta, who I’ve met twice before but have never really had a conversation with. The women are laughing about something, and I wait for them to see me and give me some sass. “Harriet, I’ve just seen some...work colleagues approaching and I want to say hello. Can I call you tomorrow?”
“Okay, chat tomorrow,” she says and hangs up. I lean back against the building and study the four women. Each one is beautiful but strikingly different. All of them are off-limits to me, though. Lila, Skye, and Juniper because they are all taken and Elisabetta because she just looks like bad news, with her defiant chin, challenging light brown eyes, and deliciously long raven hair. Her lips are juicy and bright red, and she’s wearing knee-high boots with fishnet stockings, a short black skirt, and a silver sequined top that shows off her ample bosoms. She stands out among the women.
“Don’t even think about it,” I lecture myself under my breath as she looks up and makes eye contact with me. Her eyes narrow for a few seconds before she turns to her friends.
“Look who crawled out of the sewer,” Elisabetta says loudly, almost as if she wants me to hear her insult. She looks over at me again, and I smirk. It will take a lot more than a comment like that to offend me. I step forward and walk over to the women in a deliberately languid fashion.
I sense a small amount of trepidation in the air as if they are not that happy to see me, so I plaster on my most charming smile. First, I look at Skye. She's been the friendliest of the women thus far, then I look at Lila and Juniper. I save my most dazzling smile for Elisabetta, who just grimaces in response. It takes everything in me not to burst out laughing.
"Fancy seeing you beautiful ladies here." I nod my head in a small bow, though I can’t keep my eyes off of the sultry and tantalizing Elisabetta. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"There's no pleasure here for you, Liam," Elisabetta retorts immediately, her fingers playing with her long dark hair as she gazes at me dismissively. "Lila has come to see Max and drop off some files he left at home, and then we're going to grab drinks and perform some songs at karaoke."
Table of Contents
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