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Everything slams into me in one horrible, existential moment that blows my mind apart at the seams.

All of this has happened before, and it will all happen again.

I had argued with Wes one night, here on the boat.

We were fighting.

We weren’t together anymore, but we were fighting.

Things got physical.

I pushed him, and I think he shoved me back.

Yes, he pushed me.

I fell right here.

I hit my head on the corner of the table.

And that was it.

That was where my life ended.

That was when I died.

CHAPTER 29

I lieon the couch at an awkward angle, staring up at Wes, and all I can think about is that I died.

Idied.

I was dead.

And he’s the one that killed me.

“You killed me,” I manage to say, my heart wrapped in barbed wire.

He shakes his head adamantly. “No. I did not. It was an accident.”

He tries to pull me to my feet, but I wrestle out of his grasp, stumbling to the chart table, picking up the knife.

“Stay back!” I yell at him, my head pounding. “Stay the fuck where you are.”

“Sydney, please!” he barks, his palms splayed in desperation. “I did not kill you. I didn’t hurt you. It was an accident!”

But he’s wrong. I know he’s wrong. He’s lying like he’s always lied to me.

“You pushed me!”

“I didn’t! It was an accident. You slipped and fell. I tried to stop you, and I didn’t. I couldn’t. I missed.” His eyes searchmine, quick and feverish. “God. Please, you have to believe me, you have to! I’m the only ally you have, the only one who can save you.”

“Save me?” I laugh bitterly. “We weren’t even together, were we? We had broken up.”

Is that why he killed me? Because he wanted to get back together and I didn’t?

Fucking hell, why can’t I remember anything?

Because you died. Whatever they did to Clayton, they did the same thing to you.