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Terror fills my veins like an IV drip.

And suddenly, I’m pulled out of the bright room. I’m back in the storm, in the trees. I’m on my knees, crying on the forest floor. Tears spill to the ground, and I’m so afraid, so fucking afraid of what’s happening that I collapse onto my side, curling into a ball.

The cougar nudges my leg with its snout, a purring sound, then pads off into the woods until it disappears.

Leaving me all alone.

As if it was never here.

But I’m here.

CHAPTER 27

Thunder rumbles in the distance,shaking the common room slightly.

“Sweet,” Lauren says, rubbing her hands together. “We almost never get thunderstorms on the island.”

I stare blankly at the fire, lost in the flames. I feel like it’s cleansing my brain, clearing it from everything I saw today. If I had enough strength to put the incident with the cougar and the mycelia inside me away into a box and wrap it up, never to look at it again, I would.

But I don’t have any strength left. I lay on that forest floor for quite a long time until I decided there was only one thing left for me to do. I could try and find the logging road and continue my journey, but I started to worry that there would be no help when I got there. What if the camp was empty because of the storm? What if there are people, but they take one look at me and think I’m crazy, only to bring me right back to Madrona?

What if I can never truly leave?

So I walked toward the direction of the wind, where I knew it would be strongest coming off the water, and once I foundthe shore, I followed it as it undulated around the inlet, waves crashing against the rocks, and I ended up at the lodge.

I went straight to my room, had a shower, spent an hour trying to throw up, then brushed my teeth twenty times and swished a whole bottle of mouthwash. Then I knocked on Justin’s door, because I knew he had vodka, and had a couple of shots of that, much to his concern.

Now, I’m kind of drunk, definitely out of it, and terribly scared. Even though I’m surrounded by friends as they laugh and drink hot chocolate or wine by the box, I feel unmoored and distanced.

And, quite frankly, disgusted. I avoided looking at my vomit when I left the woods, so I have no idea if the mycelia were real or not, and the front of my jacket showed nothing but a stain. And I have no clue if the cougar was really there or if the vision was something real, but I don’t think it matters.

I think what I saw is the heart of the matter. The cougar was dying, yes, but it also seemed fine. Same goes for the bears. The wolf was half-dead. The baby goat…I don’t even know. But Madrona isn’t just doing experiments with fungi on their livestock. They’re doing it to the wild animals. At first, I thought perhaps the wildlife was eating theAmanita excandesco, but I don’t think that’s the case. I don’t think any of this is a result of eating mushrooms. I think Everly and Michael have been purposely capturing the creatures and using them in their experiments, then turning them out when they don’t work out.

Or maybe they are working. Maybe the animals are fitted with cameras; maybe they’re monitoring their health when they release them back into the wild.

I doubt it though. I feel like the animals are experiments, drug trials and testing gone wrong, and they are tossed aside, just like they seem to do with everyone else.

“Sydney?” Lauren says, waving a hand in front of my face. “Hello?”

I’m about to answer when suddenly the lights go out.

Someone shrieks.

“Power’s out!” Munawar says, getting to his feet and sounding panicked.

“But we’re on solar with generators,” Rav points out. “Our power can’t go out until someone turns it off.”

“Someone turned it off,” I say blankly. “This has happened before. They’re diverting all their power elsewhere.”

The lab.

“Alright, well, time to get all our flashlights and candles lit,” Lauren says. “Keep the fire going too.”

“Yes, boss,” Munawar says.

“Come on,” Lauren says, pulling me to my feet. “I’m not letting you wander off anymore, and I’m certainly not letting you go to bed in the dark.”

I haven’t said much tonight. I think Lauren thinks I’m mad at her for what she said about Kincaid, but that’s not the case at all. I should thank her for pushing me in the right direction, to remind me to keep my guard up about him, even though all I want is to let it down.