Page 82

Story: Ghosts of the Dead

I watch the way Mars takes advantage of the distraction to tackle Jace, both of them hitting the ground while Luna barks with excitement, thinking she caused this new development in their game. Mars grins and pins Jace with a look of triumph. Jace smirks, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

Caspian doesn’t join them. He sits beside me, watching in silence and offering me his presence. I drop the stick and fold my arms over my knees before resting my chin on top.

Falling for not one, not two, but three men. Three incredible, infuriating, broken men who have somehow carved their way into my life. Into my heart.

How the hell did I get here?

Jace, with his haunted eyes and protector’s guilt, always keeping the world at arm’s length but never quite letting me go. We still have some shit to work through.

Then there’s Mars, with his crooked grin and fierce loyalty, who makes me laugh when I shouldn’t be able to.

And Caspian, with his gentle strength and shadowsdarker than my own, who opens doors to me he’s kept locked from everyone else. Mars’s words play through my head again, about how he didn’t care about me kissing either of them. Will that change when he finds out what all has happened since?

I watch Jace shove Mars off and get back to his feet. Mars grins wider, not backing down. Luna circles them both with her tail whipping back and forth as she tries to decide which man to “help” next. I should stop this. Whatever this is. Before it pulls me under. Before I lose them. Before I lose myself.

I should pick a side, set a boundary, and draw a line before I rip all of us apart.

But I don’t. I sit here with my heart splintered and wonder how the hell I’m supposed to choose when the world’s ending, when every part of me is tangled in them.

Worst of all, I wonder if I’m already breaking them.

I must be staring too hard, because Caspian shifts beside me and his arm brushes against mine. “You’re thinking too loud again.”

Startled, I glance over. “What?”

He shrugs, and his eyes flick toward Jace and Mars, who are still sparring in the dust while Luna bounds around them. “When you go that quiet, it’s either because you’re planning something dangerous, like trying to run through a rotter-infested tunnel on your own,” he gives me a tiny smile at that, “or you’re chewing yourself up inside.”

I let out a hollow breath and sink my chin deeper into my folded arms. “Maybe both.”

Caspian leans back against the crumbled stone with his hands resting loosely on his knees. “Wanna tell me which it is?”

My fingers move on autopilot when I trace the letters G.L. into the dirt again. “I just…I keep thinking about Summer. About how close I might have been to her, and how I could have missed her by days, hours, maybe less.”

He watches me, but says nothing.

“Then I see them.” My voice cracks, and I motion toward Jace and Mars. Luna has finally managed to grab hold of the hem of Mars’s pants and tugs playfully while he tries to shake her off without breaking his concentration on Jace. “How can I even focus on the mission when I’m…” I shake my head and bite the words back, unable to let them fall.

“Torn in three directions,” Caspian finishes for me in a whisper.

My throat is tight, and I swallow down the lump so I can speak. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I think I already am. I’m sorry, Cas. You deserve so much, but not this.”

Caspian’s hand slides over, and his fingers curl around mine. “You’re not breaking us. We could leave any time we want, but we’re choosing this. We’re choosing you. Every second of every day.”

I look up at him, but he’s staring out at the clearing, watching Mars finally free himself from Luna, only to be tackled by Jace.

“You have no idea what we even see, do you?”

I’m not sure how to answer that, so I stay quiet.

“You don’t have to carry all of it alone, Autumn. Not anymore.” The way he says it makes my chest ache, like he’s offering more than simple comfort. Like he’s offering himself as a place to rest and breathe.

I nod once, and barely manage a whisper. “Thanks, Cas.”

His thumb brushes over my knuckles before he pulls away. I don’t have time to miss the warmth before he grabs me around my waist and hoists me onto his lap, so I’m straddling him with my knees by his thighs, facing him.

My hands land on his chest, and his heartbeat is calm beneath my palm. He pushes the stray strands of hair out ofmy face and smiles up at me. “I’ll always be here. Even when the others aren’t.”

His words hit me hard. It’s too much, too fast.