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I don’t move until she stands. Her movements are too purposeful. Not relaxed or wandering, but like she’s gearing up for something more than just sleep. She heads back toward camp like someone with a mission I don’t know about. I hate the unknowns.

Later, after the sun drops lower, she settles by the fire, back with the others, but not really with us.

She spends the rest of the daylight watching it disappear over the horizon, comfortable in Mars’s embrace. He sits behind her with her head against his shoulder and his arms keeping her warm by the fire while Caspian lies next to her with his head in her lap and Luna lies on the ground with her head on Autumn’s feet.

She should be at the utmost level of comfort, but her body remains rigid, even when she smiles up at Mars or runs her hands through Caspian’s loose platinum strands.

I don’t understand how it’s so easy for them to be like that around her. How are they not afraid of someone hurting her in order to hurt them?

They weren’t there when Eugene forced a group of us to watch people burn in order to teach us a lesson about loyalty. They didn’t have anyone to lose, so they were spared that pain. As much as Eugene deserved the death he got, I only wish it could have been by my hands instead of someone else’s bullet.

Movement pulls me from my thoughts and I look up to see Autumn sneaking off into the dark, so I follow her. She pauses to fix the laces on her boots. I watch from the shadows for a second longer than I should before I step into her light. “You going somewhere?”

She startles and a guilty look flashes across her face before she schools her features and lifts her chin. “Bathroom break. Should I write up a report?”

“That’s why you’ve got the knife strapped to your waistband holster? Unless you’re planning to use it to carve your report into a tree…”

Her jaw tightens. “Are you spying on me now?”

I shake my head. “No. I’m just not great at ignoring red flags when I’m not the one waving them.”

She pulls the knot in her laces tight, rises, and turns to the treeline. I shift to block her path. She sighs. “I’m not in the mood, Jace.”

“Well, that’s too damn bad,” I snap, before I can stop myself. “You think you’re the only one hurting?”

She doesn’t look at me. “Don’t.”

I swallow hard and back off half a step. “Tell me what’s going on.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t.”

Won’t. She means she won’t.

“Where’s Luna?” I ask, noticing the dog’s absence. Luna hasn’t left Autumn’s side in days.

“Sleeping by the fire,” she says too quickly, another lie slipping easily past her lips.

She brushes past me and disappears into the dark untilher silhouette is devoured by the trees. I stand there a second longer with ache and indecision warring inside of me, every part of me screaming to follow her, so I do.

Turns out, I’m not the only one.

A twig snaps behind me and I glance back to find Mars stepping out of the shadows, his unbuttoned flannel shirt hanging open to reveal the growing bruises from our fight still marking his chest.

His eyes narrow as he approaches. “You gonna tell me why Autumn ghosted at this time of night with her knife drawn and leaving Luna behind?”

“Ask her.” I tilt my head in the direction Autumn disappeared.

“I did.” Mars steps closer and shadows cut across his face. “She fed me some bullshit about going for a walk to get some fresh air. We’re fucking surrounded by air.” He runs a hand through his dark hair, but concern is evident beneath his usual cockiness. “I know she’s going through some shit, but something’s off. Ever since you stitched her up.” His black eyes cut to me. “What did you do?”

“Well, clearly I fucked up. That’s something all of us can agree on, but whatever she’s up to right now was already in motion before I screwed up.”

Mars takes a step closer to me, and his hands clench into fists. His voice is low and threatening. “What did you do?”

I lift my chin. “Fucked her, okay? Then I ran away like a goddamn coward. I would love to fight with you over it, but let’s find out what she’s up to first. Deal?”

Mars lets out a dark chuckle. “I knew it. I just didn’t know you were going to be so shit at it.”

“New plan. You stand here and laugh like a maniac. I’m going after her.” I turn my back on Mars and jog in the direction Autumn disappeared. Mars catches up to me, and it’s not long before we have Autumn back in our eyesight.