Page 121
Story: Free to Fall
Just that quickly, the words I hurled at Laura come spilling out of my mouth and take me back to the ER and my conversation with Laura.
“You don’t have any right to touch her, Ash. Not after what you did to her.” To me. Taking her on a sting operation when all she had to do was call me? Completely unfathomable.
“Liam, please. I didn’t do anything.”
“Didn’t do anything?” Christ, how was it I worked with this woman undercover for over a year and never knew her to be such a selfish bitch.
Her voice is a rasp. “Yes.”
“And you did so with no security to protect you?” No backup. Nothing. I had to find out about Bailey’s condition from my boss.
Just like the last time.
“I didn’t know we would get hurt.” I’m immune to the tears dripping down her face, I’m so furious at Ashleigh. I shout something else in her direction, causing her choked, “I had no idea, Liam, Believe me,”
Barely any of her words penetrate. All I can see is the blood on Bailey’s face from the car wreck. Christ, how can this manipulative liar be allowed to mother my daughter?
I need to vent this anger or I’ll never be able to have a future where Bailey won’t be threatened. “The only thing I believe is you’re a selfish bitch. You’re a danger to Bailey just by existing.”
I’m incredulous when she tries to plead, “Liam, I love ...”
“Don’t finish that. Don’t you even dare say that to me or to Bailey. Not now, not ever again. Get out.”
“Just like that,” Alice murmurs after my outburst. There’s no judgment in her voice, but I feel like I’ve shattered my life into a million broken pieces.
“How did I look at Laura and see Ashleigh?”
Alice’s eyes drift shut in agony. “Do you want me to answer as your doctor or as a woman?”
Realizing the extent of the pain I caused to Laura, my voice cracks when I admit, “I think by the time this is over, I’ll need to hear both.”
Alice leans forward and meets my eyes squarely. “Now, let’s go back to talking about Ashleigh.”
Hours later, I’m driving toward our Norwalk office. My voice was dead when I called Keene to inform him, “Incoming.”
His brusque, “I’ll tell Caleb,” netted me a meeting at the end of my boss’s workday.
Before he hung up, I had copies of my therapy session records from Alice sent over. They at least deserved to know why I attacked the person I loved with such a determined viciousness.
As I take exit 1 to Route 7, the way I screamed at Laura reverberates in my mind. Worse, the way she pleaded with me before stoically absorbing my blows. As if she deserved them when the only thing she deserves is love.
Entering Hudson Investigations, I head straight into the elevator for the executive floor. After using my badge, I’m dumped out right outside Caleb’s office. The hallway is empty of random passersby. Still, my stomach knots as I lift my hand to knock.
Keene swings the door open to reveal an exhausted Caleb. It strikes me that I’ve seen that face before—in the mirror. A flash of insight hits me. Even as much as he hates me, he hates himself more. This is why he’s trying to help Laura, help me. I recall the frosty reception I received from Laura’s mother and realize she isn’t likely only furious with me, but with her husband for daring to hurt her child.
Caleb’s in the same lifeboat as I am for the same reason. Knowing that still doesn’t help either of our situations, but it makes me resent him less when I step into his office. Spotting Keene, I wait for the first attack of words, knowing I deserve them. When neither man speaks, I don’t say anything.
I wait.
And wait.
Finally, it isn’t me Caleb addresses, but Keene. “It’s annoying as fuck Liam grounded my guns by having Alice send over her reports on his sessions.”
“Liam is often annoying as fuck,” Keene retorts before he approaches. The older man comes up next to me and drops into a chair.
I take a chance and apologize to both of them. “I’m so fucking sorry. I never meant to hurt Laura.”
Much to my surprise, Caleb asks, “Now what? What are you going to do now that you appreciate the damage you did, Liam?”
“You don’t have any right to touch her, Ash. Not after what you did to her.” To me. Taking her on a sting operation when all she had to do was call me? Completely unfathomable.
“Liam, please. I didn’t do anything.”
“Didn’t do anything?” Christ, how was it I worked with this woman undercover for over a year and never knew her to be such a selfish bitch.
Her voice is a rasp. “Yes.”
“And you did so with no security to protect you?” No backup. Nothing. I had to find out about Bailey’s condition from my boss.
Just like the last time.
“I didn’t know we would get hurt.” I’m immune to the tears dripping down her face, I’m so furious at Ashleigh. I shout something else in her direction, causing her choked, “I had no idea, Liam, Believe me,”
Barely any of her words penetrate. All I can see is the blood on Bailey’s face from the car wreck. Christ, how can this manipulative liar be allowed to mother my daughter?
I need to vent this anger or I’ll never be able to have a future where Bailey won’t be threatened. “The only thing I believe is you’re a selfish bitch. You’re a danger to Bailey just by existing.”
I’m incredulous when she tries to plead, “Liam, I love ...”
“Don’t finish that. Don’t you even dare say that to me or to Bailey. Not now, not ever again. Get out.”
“Just like that,” Alice murmurs after my outburst. There’s no judgment in her voice, but I feel like I’ve shattered my life into a million broken pieces.
“How did I look at Laura and see Ashleigh?”
Alice’s eyes drift shut in agony. “Do you want me to answer as your doctor or as a woman?”
Realizing the extent of the pain I caused to Laura, my voice cracks when I admit, “I think by the time this is over, I’ll need to hear both.”
Alice leans forward and meets my eyes squarely. “Now, let’s go back to talking about Ashleigh.”
Hours later, I’m driving toward our Norwalk office. My voice was dead when I called Keene to inform him, “Incoming.”
His brusque, “I’ll tell Caleb,” netted me a meeting at the end of my boss’s workday.
Before he hung up, I had copies of my therapy session records from Alice sent over. They at least deserved to know why I attacked the person I loved with such a determined viciousness.
As I take exit 1 to Route 7, the way I screamed at Laura reverberates in my mind. Worse, the way she pleaded with me before stoically absorbing my blows. As if she deserved them when the only thing she deserves is love.
Entering Hudson Investigations, I head straight into the elevator for the executive floor. After using my badge, I’m dumped out right outside Caleb’s office. The hallway is empty of random passersby. Still, my stomach knots as I lift my hand to knock.
Keene swings the door open to reveal an exhausted Caleb. It strikes me that I’ve seen that face before—in the mirror. A flash of insight hits me. Even as much as he hates me, he hates himself more. This is why he’s trying to help Laura, help me. I recall the frosty reception I received from Laura’s mother and realize she isn’t likely only furious with me, but with her husband for daring to hurt her child.
Caleb’s in the same lifeboat as I am for the same reason. Knowing that still doesn’t help either of our situations, but it makes me resent him less when I step into his office. Spotting Keene, I wait for the first attack of words, knowing I deserve them. When neither man speaks, I don’t say anything.
I wait.
And wait.
Finally, it isn’t me Caleb addresses, but Keene. “It’s annoying as fuck Liam grounded my guns by having Alice send over her reports on his sessions.”
“Liam is often annoying as fuck,” Keene retorts before he approaches. The older man comes up next to me and drops into a chair.
I take a chance and apologize to both of them. “I’m so fucking sorry. I never meant to hurt Laura.”
Much to my surprise, Caleb asks, “Now what? What are you going to do now that you appreciate the damage you did, Liam?”
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