Page 53

Cadence alternates between helping others set up and coming over to work with me. As the early morning sun rises across the sky, we hunch over piles of hard packed sand, stacking buckets, carving shapes. Grit collects under my nails and in my teeth, no matter how much I try to spit it out.

I'm surprised when I look up and see there's a crowd of kids watching me build. Cadence shoots a sly grin at me before she pats her hands over the third tower she's started on. “Why are they watching us?” I whisper.

“Because we're fucking awesome at this,” she whispers back.

It's not the sun that heats the back of my neck, it's a flash of pride. Being admired is a rare feeling. I haven't encountered it in a long time, and to have it thrust on me is unnerving. Focusing harder than before, I start shaping a dragon around the base of the castle. The structure is massive after working for an hour.

A whistle shrieks in the air. I jump, but my brain remembers the sound. Mr. Carver waves his arm overhead. “Break time!” he declares.

I sit on my heels in the wet sand, glad I dressed appropriately in my bathing suit. Cadence stands up while slapping at the grains sticking to her knees. She says, “quick rinse off in the water?”

“Last one in buys the snacks,” I laugh.

She takes my bet to heart and starts bolting at the waves. I kick up sand in the shore in my rush to match her speed. I'm close, my longer legs stretching, elbows pumping at my sides. Sucking in a mouthful of oxygen, I give one last push—Cadence hits the rippling water before I do.

Laughing in celebration, she swings her arms in the air. A second wave slaps against her side, soaking her upper body so she gasps. That gets me cackling; I hug myself, shaking in delight. She splashes me with mock-offense on her pretty face. “Don't look so smug!” she shouts, “I won!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” I pinch my nose, ducking under the next wave. Bubbles tickle my cheeks—the world becomes nothing but azure and green. Here, I'm free of any existence but mine, no noise other than the tides in my ear canal.

I'm tempted to stay. But I don't have gills, and the current shoves me hard to remind me I don't belong, even if I wish for it with all my heart. Breaking the surface I gasp, coughing as I swallow the brackish liquid. Cadence stares at me.What do I look like right now?I wonder.

Jordan's words leak from my ears along with the ocean water.Don't you dare let me catch you looking like this again.

“Are you okay?” Cadence asks.

“Just enjoying a swim,” I say, pushing against the waves to head to shore. “I'll dry off and get those snacks for everyone.”

When I'm back on land a few of the kids run up to me. “Your sandcastle is so cool!” a little boy yells.

Another kid, a girl with blonde hair that could be his twin, nods enthusiastically. “Will you teach us how to make them like you?”

Crouching eye to eye, I smile fondly. “I can't teach you. But he can.” I point at Mr. Carver. “He's the best. Everything I know I learned from him.”

The older man overhears me. His lips stretch in a line, smooth forehead crinkling, before he smiles bashfully. The kids dart over to him, loudly begging for tips. Free of their attention I hurry up the dunes to my car.

Taking the towel from the backseat, I scrub myself down. Once I know my bathing suit won't soak through my shorts, I tug them up my legs, slip on my sandals, then hop into the driver's seat. Cadence is back on the shore; she waves at me, mouthing,Fifteen minutes!

I nod sharply. It shouldn't take me more than five to get to the convenience store around the corner, grab some treats, then cart them back here.

I'm enjoying the music coming from my speakers as I drive. But my real happiness comes from a deeper place. This has been my favorite morning in a long time. Swimming, sandcastles, laughing with friends … it's so simple, I feel stupid for avoiding it.

Cadence doesn't hate me because my dad hit the lottery. She isn't prying for information about his money from me, or slyly asking if I've seen him around. All she wants is to hang out. And next time, I swear, I'll win our race into the water.

I pull into the parking lot of the convenience store. The sun is furious now, so I guide my car into the shade of the trees on the far end. A few other cars occupy spots, and a big white truck parks too close to me. It’s over the painted line, and I’m forced to squeeze out with my stomach sucked in. At first, I'm irritated, but then… I'm grateful.

Thanks to the truck, the people exiting the store can't see me.

Three guys. I recognize every one of them.

Jake, Chico, and Dezmond.

I'd forgotten what was waiting for me in the world. My miserable real life was easy to ignore when I was enjoying the sapphire waves and malleable sand.

Dezmond's foot falls off the cement walkway in front of the store's door. He's laughing, giving Jake a shove. Jake shoves back, sending Dez stumbling into the lot, just a few yards from me. His face twists from a flash of annoyance. He starts telling Jake off, loud enough for me to hear, “You piece of shit!”

There are only two places I can go: into my car, which could trap me if they come close enough to see me inside, or under the trees that protect me from the hot sun. A little park winks at me between the branches.

I jump around the nose of my car, through the gray tree trunks. Their voices fade behind me, but I don't slow down. There's no way I'm risking being spotted. Last time we saw each other, I slapped him. He hasn't spoken to me since then, not even a phone call, which would be comforting if I was sure he didn't have my new number. I bet he could get it if he wanted.