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“I haven’t spoken to them since we met.”

Arianna stopped her questions. There was only the moment in which they occupied their own world.

They ate a light dinner from a food vendor before heading to one of the only nightclubs nearby that was open on Monday night. It wasn’t queer, but it didn’t stop some from showing up and dancing with their significant others while Elle and Arianna shared a large cocktail and remained silent beneath the strain of loud music.

Arianna wasn’t annoyed that Elle soon asked her to dance. Even she had to admit that there was something freeing about being spun around on the dancefloor and wrapping her arms around her girlfriend amid a swell of people who didn’t give a fuck about her problems.

It wasn’t her first time dancing with another woman, even in a club like this. Nor was it her first time occasionally sharing a peck on the lips as the sweaty minutes turned into an hour. It won’t even be the first time I’ve gone home with a woman after doing something like this. But it was her first time with someone she loved. Her girlfriend. Maybe my future wife. Arianna didn’t want to get too ahead of herself, but if this relationship that blew up her career ended up being for life… well, perhaps that was a sacrifice she was willing to make. Maybe it was fate.

She tried not to cry as she clung to Elle, swaying to the beat of a sexual RnB song. The Mandarin lyrics expressing a long-held, often-thought-about desire to carnally know someone was not lost on either woman who understood every word, every tone, and every nuance. Elle was so clever with languages that she probably even understood the obscure metaphor about rainclouds over Wushan.

I just want to forget.

The outdoors was as humid as it had been in the club. Soaked in sweat and quickly losing the power of her antiperspirant, Arianna kept quiet on their way back to her place. It wasn’t even a question of going to the Lion Orchard. There was something she needed to do at her flat first.

Elle quickly got the gist as they ripped off each other’s clothes and stood shoulder-to-shoulder in the tiny shower. As hot water washed away their sweat and soaked into their aching muscles, they embraced, one mouth always searching for the other until Arianna was against the wall with her girlfriend’s lips on her throat and two fingers between her legs.

It’s not enough. When her thighs shook enough to make her lose balance, Arianna shut off the water and grabbed a towel for them to share. They were barely dry before they landed on her bed, naked, the air conditioner barely keeping them clean as they made fast and furious love on top of the neatly made covers.

Arianna didn’t hold back. She was loud. Loud enough to wake her neighbors, something she didn’t give a shit about anymore.

I want them to know. Why not? This wasn’t just her first time getting laid in her bed. This was her being out to the world, not giving a single fuck that someone might be put-out or disturbed by her sex life. Let them know. They all think it’s their business, anyway. Shouldn’t they know why she might lose her job? What she gave that up for?

Ecstasy of the body, and the heart.

She straddled Elle’s naked hips and took down her hair, letting the damp strands fall upon her shoulders as she tossed the clip onto the floor. As she rubbed herself against her girlfriend, she wallowed in her self-pity and celebrated her freedom. Change was in the air.

“Look at me.” Elle lured Arianna down, cupping her face with a warm hand until Arianna tasted the tip of her thumb. “I love you. You can count on me.”

Arianna was far from sentimental. “Do you remember one of our first real interactions?” she reminisced with a huskier voice. “That turbulence on the plane?” Her hips circled Elle’s stomach, her clit searching for her girlfriend’s navel like a fun game of hide and seek.

“You landed in my lap. It was exhilarating.”

Elle’s hand fell to Arianna’s breast as she sat back up, closing her eyes and flinging her head back as she found the perfect spot. “This is what I dreamed of doing to you.”

The grip on her body tightened. “I want to eat you alive.”

Was that about right now? Or back then? An ongoing sentiment that defined their relationship? Arianna was in the mood to be consumed. Hell, who knew that she needed it so badly? To be cocooned like the cautious caterpillar she had been, only to transform into the beautiful butterfly that would spread her wings and glide into a new chapter of her writing?

I hope this is forever. That was the romantic in her talking, but it was true. What woman didn’t want this to be forever?

Who didn’t want to be this free forever?

“I’ve never loved someone like I love you.” They snuggled together atop her duvet, one of Arianna’s legs still wrapped around Elle’s waist as she was caressed by three gentle knuckles. “I didn’t even think it was possible to be so in love, and I thought I knew love before.”

Arianna opened her eyes with a fine sigh. “You mean like with your ex?”

The knuckles stopped their gentle caress. “Yes. Like with her.”

Arianna didn’t know why those words were so heavy. It wasn’t any of her business.

“She seemed nice.” Elle was aware of Pam’s visit in Seattle since it was a footnote for them to discuss shortly after it happened. And then we didn’t mention it again. Everything about it had been awkward, even for Elle, who wasn’t there. “She said I was beautiful, and she understood why you were into me.”

“Did she?”

“Yeah. Did I not tell you?”

“Perhaps you did. I don’t remember.” Elle turned her body more toward Arianna. “I don’t want to talk about her.” She had been speaking Mandarin. Now, she switched to English, which Arianna found so possessively charming and direct. “I want to talk about us. Marry me, Aria.”