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“I read most of the industry periodicals,” Elle methodically said. “I also read a lot of chatter online. Some things aren’t as secret as you might suspect.”

“Right. I bet there’s a lot of talk about that online.” Arianna took another sip of her tea before setting it aside and curling up against Elle on the couch. “Did you like my sister?”

“She was adorable. Very vibrant and full of life.”

Arianna’s brows folded down her face. “You make it sound like she’s been a victim of a crime and we can’t believe her bright light isn’t with us anymore.”

“Not my intention at all.”

“Uh-huh…”

“Like I said, your sister was a delight to have dinner with. It was nice to meet someone who cares about you.”

No one had ever put it that way before. Then again, Arianna had never introduced one of her dates to anyone she knew before. They were always a separate part of her life who remained in the shadows, in the nondescript bars that made good girls feel wild for a few hours. The more the world became accepting of women like her, the more trapped Arianna felt. I can be open about who I am… but only with the right person. I only get one chance.

Was Elle the right person?

“I know this is sort of a sudden conversation,” Arianna said as she attempted to not stiffen like a petrified stone, “but I think we should discuss the… future?”

Elle peered down from where her head rested against the couch. “What do you mean?”

Although she asked that as softly as one might say I love you, Arianna was aware that they had yet to exchange that phrase. Not even in jest. Because you don’t joke about love. She bit her lip to contemplate how difficult it would be to say that out loud, even to someone as great as Elle. Do I love her? That was a thought for another night.

First things first!

“Well, you and I have been dating like this for a few months now…” Had it been that long? Even Arianna couldn’t grasp how much time had passed since she started working for Royal Asia, let alone since she first met Elle for a clandestine dinner between two sneaky women falling in lust with each other. “We’re talking about me coming to visit your place in Seattle. You’ve met my sister, something no one else I’ve dated has ever done. It’s… well, from my perspective, it’s getting kind of serious.”

She couldn’t bring herself to look at Elle. Instead, Arianna faced away, pressing her hand to her cheek, spooked that she might be blushing hard enough to spontaneously combust.

“It is from my perspective as well.” Elle gently nudged Arianna in the shoulder blades, prompting her to turn back around. “But I think I’m less surprised by that than you. When we met, I knew you were special.” Her hand snaked around Arianna’s waist, pulling her closer. “You’re the exact kind of woman I am attracted to: smart, polite, fiercely independent. And you look good, too, Aria.”

Arianna squeaked in acceptance of that compliment. “Sometimes, when we make love, it feels like you’re worshipping me.”

“Oh, good. I was hoping I wouldn't have to say it out loud at some point. You did it for me.”

“I’m serious.” The emotional discomfort was too much. Jittery Arianna leaped up from the couch, disentangling herself from Elle’s grasp as she walked toward the center of the room. “You have to understand. Until this year, my entire dating life could be summed up in one-night stands and awkward chatting online. My family has never met someone I’ve slept with. Not even my sister, who sometimes goes to the bar with me as some sign of solidarity.” Great. Now she was reminded of what she had seen last night. Pushing that away, she continued in Mandarin, “I’m used to stacking rocks on top of my desires. Pressing them down until they can’t breathe and I can ignore they exist. It’s how I’ve made it through this life as a woman who has always known what she’s wanted, even if my desires do not align with what my family, my society want from me. I’ve always known this about myself, you know?” She turned around, taking in the pensive look on Elle’s face. “I suspect you’re the same kind of woman.”

“I think you might be right.”

“From the day I first saw a Singapura Girl, I wanted to be her. There was that part that wanted to be with her, too, but I was too young to understand. It wasn’t until I was in training that I realized how much it would mean to me if one of my fellow trainees held my hand as we walked back to our dorm. I never dated any of them – they all either had boyfriends or never stopped talking about boys. The first woman I ever kissed, let alone slept with, was someone I met in a dark bar when I finally gained the courage to go. She seduced me with a drink and a dance. And she was only interested after finding out I was in training to be a Singapura Girl. You’ve gotta understand, that’s a serious standard of hotness around here!”

Elle grinned. “You don’t say.”

“So, to see you so many times, to call you my girlfriend like I do… for you to meet my sister, for me to forget myself while I’m at work… that’s a big deal, Elle. It makes me question if I’m not indulging in fantasies.” She used the Mandarin idiom that painted a picture of a daydreaming girl who got caught up in things that didn’t matter. The exact kind of thing my mom used to accuse Kaylinn of doing. What the family didn’t know for the longest time was that Arianna was the one drinking the air and turning her mind to clouds.

“You want to know how serious this is, don’t you?” Elle said.

“Of course I do. What woman in my position wouldn’t?”

“Aria.” Elle patted the spot next to her. “You’re important to me. I wouldn’t make so much time for you, even going as far as to change my routes so I can spend a weekend with you. I can’t tell you what this feeling is, but I know it’s something strong enough to make me think of my ex. Constantly.” She sighed. “In a good way. It reminds me of when I fell in love.”

Arianna didn’t immediately go back to Elle’s side. “What did you love about her?”

“She knew what she wanted. She saw who I was and thought, ‘I can handle her quirks.’ I have a lot if you haven’t noticed.”

“I’m sure there are plenty I still haven’t seen.”

“You’d be right. Most of them don’t manifest until I’m living with a woman who turns me into a quivering mess.”