Page 84
"He wasn't actually there with us at lunch. but I felt like I met him. That's all my mother talked about. She hardly asked a question about me and what were doing here. She's like some teenager, I'm telling you." "When is she getting married?" I asked.
"She wants to get married next week, but his travel schedule makes it difficult, so they're getting married as soon as he has the time. She said it would just be one of those justice of the peace ceremonies. They might even do it in Las Vegas." she said. "Maybe they'll get an Elvis impersonator as a witness," she added bitterly.
"And then what? She moves to California?" Cinnamon asked. Rose nodded.
"Is she coining to the Performance Night?" I asked.
"Maybe. It depends on his schedule. but I kind of got the idea she wouldn't."
"What's his name?" Ice asked.
"Warner Langley. He was married once before, but it lasted only a month."
"That's more like a long date, not a marriage," Cinnamon said.
"This might be as well," Rose muttered. "Sorry I've been such a drag around ,y'all,"
"What's it been like in dance class?" I asked, thinking about my own session with Mr. Berman.cr
"Not bad," Rose said, perking up. 'When I'm into a routine, doing exercises, moving to the music, I forget everything else. Mr. Demetrius said that even when I'm dancing to the same melody. I have a natural tendency to vary it just a little, almost making it more beautiful, more touching. He really cheered me up."
"He's right, of course. That
's why you're so good. Rose," Cinnamon said. "That's why you're going to make it, despite all the rest.'
"Then maybe she is right," Ice said. We all turned to her.
"Who?" I asked.
"Madame Senetsky. Maybe she's right. We should become like nuns and marry ourselves to the stage." Cinnamon nodded slowly.
"It's a way to escape," she said.
"From what?" I asked,
"Who we really are," she replied.
"I don't want to escape from that," I said.
"There's nothing about your family, your past, yourself that deep inside you hate?" Rose asked, her eyes forbidding.
I thought about Grandad Forman and his ruthless religious fervor that made me feel guilty about all my loving feelings, tying me as tight as a drum inside, making me feel as if a simple kiss, a trembling in my breast was all leading to some enormous sin. It nearly kept me from winning Chandler's affections. Even now, even after all the promises and wonderful things we had said to each other, there was still some of that inside me. and I always feared it would keep me from giving myself truly and wholly to anyone who loved and gave himself to me. I used to think it was like a stain on my heart, corrupting my emotions.
"Maybe," I confessed.
"We all want to escape from something," Cinnamon insisted.
"One day you'll realize exactly what it is and you'll be happy you've been given a way to do it. You can't change your mother or stop her from making another mistake, Rose, and neither can you. Ice. Let's all stop trying to change our pasts. Let's just change our futures.'
Rose nodded and then smiled,
"What about Sunday? What should I tell Barry?" Cinnamon looked to me.
"Honey?"
"I don't care. I'm not getting married Sunday," I said. I put on a brave face, but my heart was pounding. If Chandler found out, he might not come the following weekend.
"Good." Cinnamon said. "Let's have a good time. Forever and ever," she added. "let's have good times. A vow, come on." she said, holding out her hand. Then she closed her eyes and recited. Begone, all unhappiness. Come, sweet lips of pleasure. Kiss us all, every one."
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