Page 103
"I was just very stupid," I added. "I believed he was really interested in showing me how good the stereo was. I deserve to be called naive. I guess."
"I haven't gone on any dates with anyone else since we left Ohio," he said.
"It really wasn't a date. I was on my way home and I let him talk me into..."
"It's all right. Honey. You don't have to defend yourself. We're not engaged or anything."
"I wish we were." I blurted and he stopped and turned to me.
"Do you? Already? You don't want to experience this city, all the exciting people you will meet, many of them handsome men?"
"No," I said definitively.
He smiled, chuckling to himself.
"I don't!" I insisted.
"Okay. okay. But look how easily you were drawn into something you thought was just going to be an innocent experience. That's all I'm saving. Let's not make promises we can't keep."
"I can keep my promises. Chandler Maxwell. I always have and I always will," I said. steaming.
He laughed.
"I mean it!" I said and stomped away from him. He had to run to catch up.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm certainly not upset about it. Honey.
I wouldn't want anyone else to make such a promise to me."
I stood there fuming a moment. and then turned my head slightly to look at him.
"And what about you and your promises?" I asked.
He stared at me a moment, dug into his pocket, and then opened his hand to reveal a white gold friendship ring with a small diamond at the center.
"It's close to an engagement ring." he said. "Maybe a step or two away. I wasn't sure if I should give it to you so soon. but..."
"Oh. Chandler. yes." I cried. "Yes."
He took my hand and slipped the ring on my finger, "It fits perfectly!"
"I found out your ring size from your mother. She was funny, questioning me to see if I was going to offer you an engagement ring, When I told her what it was, she sounded relieved. I don't think it was because she doesn't like me." he added quickly. "Nothing like that. But I know she would feel it's a bit too soon to plan on a marriage. especially when you're planning a wonderful career for yourself and you have all this opportunity," he added. gesturing at the school.
I thought about Madame Senetsky, the things Evan had discovered and told us: her dedicated life, not marrying until she was in her thirties and not having her first child until she was nearly forty. Now who knew what family problems she had?
A part of me wanted to burst out and say, "Oh, Chandler. I don't want anything more than a good husband, a good home, and a family. I don't want to travel from city to city performing, living out of hotels, holding my breath every time a critic appears, worrying about the audiences, competing and competing as Madame Senetsky described.'"
But I didn't say those things.
Another part of me stood up and cast a shadow over the words.
"You would be dishonest with yourself," it said. "if you denied I was here inside you, too,"
"This means a great deal to me. Chandler,' I said, running my finger over and over the ring. "Thank you."
He shook his head.
"Thank you. Honey, for wanting it."
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