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I put my hand to my neck, remembering what used to lay against my chest.

“He was rough around the edges, but he was so sweet with me. We had to sneak around. My daddy would have beat him senseless if he knew. Redd, too,” I say with a laugh. “He had this gold rope chain with a dollar sign on it. He gave it to me on Valentine’s day. I never wore it over my clothes so nobody would see it.”

I swallow hard as the memories flood back to me.

“He was my first…everything. First kiss. First…you know.”

Julian nods.

“First person I ever told my dreams to. He used to sneak me out of the house and take me skating or to get pizza. We’d sit for hours talking about what we’d do when we grew up. We were gonna be Jay Z and Beyonce, let us tell it.”

Julian laughs with me.

“He wanted to rap, obviously. I wanted to sing. My parents were dead set against me going into entertainment under any circumstances, but Dash promised me as soon as I turned eighteen, we’d get married and work on our albums.”

I shake my head as tears well up in my eyes. “We were just dumb kids. We didn’t know anything.”

Julian’s quiet. Still listening. His eyes are on me, soft but alert.

“I loved him so much.” I blink back tears. “And he loved me back. He told me every single day.”

My fingers fidget at my neck. I don’t want to remember this part, but it all comes rushing back. The way it ended. The day my world cracked in two.

“He died a couple of years after I married Brett.”

“Why’d y’all break up?”

“I was a wreck when my father died, and he didn’t have room for my griefandhis. Brett wiggled his way in and that was that.”

I wipe a tear. “He got shot just a few blocks from my house. I heard the gunshots and everything. I just didn’t know…” I trail off, then I break down.

I let out the kind of sob that’s been stuck in the back of your throat for years. My knees weaken, but Julian holds me up, pulling me into him again without a word. He lets me cry into his chest, about another man, and it’s exactly what I need.

And it’s his acceptance of me, and this, that gives me the courage I need to say something else. Something I should have said days ago.

“Julian?” I whisper.

“Yeah?”

“I have to tell you something.”

33

Sable

The smell hits mynose before I even open my eyes.

When I do, I see Julian standing next to the bed holding a Starbucks tray. There’s a cup with my name on it, along with three bags. He smirks down at me, pleased with himself.

“Venti matcha latte with oat milk,” he announces proudly.

My favorite.

I sit up and give him a big smile as I snatch it out of the tray.

“I was just about to ask how you knew, but then I remembered that you stalked me last week.”

He chuckles. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”