Page 17

“Next step in your journey, huh.” I kicked at the floor, feeling petulant. “Well… congratulations, I guess, you huge jerk. This seems like a really big deal and a special honor to get in there.”

She pursed her lips. “I… I don’t want anyone to think I’m just trying to get away or anything. I really like this place. I really like the people here. And it wasn’t easy to… decide on something like this.”

Suddenly I felt so far away, like I was looking in through the window, and I kind of just wanted to cry. I huddled into myself, and I took a long breath before I said, “If it doesn’t pan out, though, you’ll come back here, right?”

“I don’t know…” She rubbed at her arm. “Once I’ve closed down the bakery and left, I don’t think I’d have any place here coming back.”

“You shut your mouth. People would want you back. That’s final. Deal with it.”

She gave me a tired, barely-there smile. “It’s one thing to say it now…”

“I saidshut it.Ugh. I can’t believe you would even think about implying I wouldn’t want you back. In Bayview.” I sighed hard, standing up, my head spinning a little with the hotsensation churning there. “Ugh, I’m going. I’ve had enough cake. I can’t believe I’d ever say those words.”

“Paisley—” Harper stood up with me, but I turned my back on her.

“Shush. I’m mad right now.”

“You’remad, when you’re the one who was raiding my computer—”

“Yes, I am mad! I’m going to go… go… work the damn bookshop or something. Ugh! I hate you, Harper. More than anyone in the world has ever hated anyone ever, ever, ever, ever, ever!”

I shouted the words louder and louder as I stormed down the stairs and unlocked the back door, throwing one last angryeverup the stairs before I slammed the door shut behind me and sank back against it, folding my arms and letting my head sink back against the door.

The night was quiet right now. Too quiet. I didn’t like it. Everyone had probably partied themselves enough at the park earlier that they got tired and just wanted to go home, and now everything was empty. Like the world was holding its breath.

Timidly, I turned back and opened the door again, a nervous sensation in my stomach as I leaned inside.

“Harper?” I called. “Um… I don’t hate you. Just so you know. You know that, right?”

If she could even still hear me upstairs, she didn’t respond. I pursed my lips.

“I love you, like, to the moon and back. You do know that, right?”

Still no response. Ugh. Maybe I did hate her. I turned back, shutting the door behind me, and I walked feeling dizzy and vaguely sick the whole way back to my house.

Chapter 5

Harper

The morning was a dizzy haze. I blamed the lack of sleep. Arguing with Paisley had left me lying there in bed for an awfully long time, staring out the window at where I could see her house across the street, and I’d just… thought. I didn’t even know what about. But all in all, it kept me up past midnight, and I got maybe four hours of sleep.

Still, it was hard to say if it was actually the lack of sleep or if that was a convenient excuse. I’d interrogate that thought never.

The morning rush was the same as ever, people coming in bright-eyed, cheerful and chattering, and people coming in looking as sleep-deprived and dead on their feet as I was. Either way, it was easy to tune out while I was here—just get into the flow, go through a list of things I knew needed doing, and find my peace in the moment.

Emberlynn came in nice and early today, which gave me information that, as always, I actively tried not to think about.She gave me an anxious smile as she set down a loaf of Italian white bread and a tray of blueberry muffins.

“What’s tonight’s dinner?” I said, bagging up her bread.

“No idea. Pais is cooking for me tonight, and she said to get Italian bread for it.”

Looked like I couldn’t get far without thinking of Paisley. I should have been pissed off at her rooting through my computer. Instead, I think I was just somehow glad I didn’t have to actually break the news to her—glad I didn’t have to say anything difficult. I kind of wished everyone would just stumble across it.

Well, I couldn’t handle that many meltdowns over it. Paisley’s had been enough. Having her storming out shouting that she hated me had been a cathartic relief, something I knew I deserved. It had been her leaning back in through the door downstairs to shout that she loved me that had hurt.

Why? I didn’t know.

“She’d better be careful,” I said idly, ringing her up. “There’s a half teaspoon of black pepper in the bread. Might be too spicy for her to handle.”