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I laughed. “Let’s talk about it first, but yeah…” I rubbed my cheek against Ben again, aching to be able to feel him and Rian echo inside me.

Terran was right. I wouldn’t be any less devastated if something terrible happened to them. This way, I got all the benefits of loving them, instead of holding myself separate in hopes of salvaging a piece of myself.

I was just kidding myself, thinking the entire pack didn’t have my heart.

Chapter 46

Ember

We arrived at the house, and I was on cloud nine. Rian drove, and I snuggled Ben in the back seat. West and Alejandro were already home, and we had dinner.

I couldn’t stop giggling or touching my pack.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Alejandro said.

I nodded, stealing a kiss over the table, before going back to my food. “Rian sang with Kinsey today.”

Rian blinked. “Me? What about you? Ember sang with us.”

West looked surprised. “Really? I’m sorry I missed it.”

“You missed nothing.” Ben touched West’s hand. “I recorded everything. We’ll have to all go to the studio on the next day off.”

“Can we?” I looked at Rian. “I have, like, ten thousand songs I want to request.”

Rian raised his eyebrows and looked at Alejandro and then West. “Sure. It wouldn’t be fair to keep the rest of the pack out.”

“Exactly.” I grinned.

After dinner, West dragged me to the side. “You’re happy.”

I threw my arms around West, inhaling his milk and honey scent. “I am so happy. I’ve been so scared of losing people I love. But I talked to Terran, and tonight I realized I can’t hold myself back.”

I tilted my head up at West. My first love, the first person to show me it was safe, even when the rest of the world was crumbling around me. “I love you. And I love them, and I’d rather suffer the pain of losing you than not live every moment to the fullest.”

West gave me a small smile and kissed me on the mouth. His lips were soft, and he tasted like berries. “So you’re ready for bonding.”

“I don’t want to bond without you,” I said. “It was just the two of us so long…”

“I’m not ready but…” He sighed. “It’s not never. I’d rather you bond now. Let me go at my pace and you go at yours.” He kissed my forehead. “Besides, you can tell me what it’s like.”

“You’re sure?” I searched his face, but he looked happy. Really happy.

“I’m very sure. You and Rian are bonding at the same time?”

I nodded. “We talked a little in the studio, but I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m great.” He hugged me. “The pack makes me feel safer and more comfortable than I thought I’d ever feel. I want you to be bonded, to have what you need.”

“Okay.” I took his hand. “Let’s go tell the alphas.”

I entered the living room, and the others were already sitting on the couch. I sat down next to Alejandro and took his hand on mine. “I’d like to be bonded tonight, if that’s okay with you.”

Alejandro made a choking sound. “Yes. What? Now?”

“You said you would always be there for me. It feels like this is the next step.” I squeezed West’s hand. “And my omega doesn’t feel left out, just able to move at his own pace.”

I tugged West down with me, and we squeezed between Rian. I touched Ben’s forearm. “I want to be bonded by my alphas.”