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So I needed to be better to myself.

I made some calls and set up a few appointments. One was a recommendation from Sean and could fit me in during lunch. It seemed like such a foreign idea, but people did it all of the time.

People actually handled their lives during the day and made allowances for themselves.

My immediate staff were beyond shocked when I told them that I was stepping out to handle something personal during lunch but could be reached on my cell. It was actually amusing.

Like one of them dropped their sandwich in surprise amusing.

Dr. Renee Bass intercepted me on my way out. She was the Head of Psychiatry and Mental Wellness, and I’d asked for help a few times recently. She cut me a quick glance but was unreadable otherwise. “Lunch meeting?”

I nodded. “I’ve never updated my condo since it was built. I liked some of the newer features in another unit that I saw. Sean gave me a recommendation for a contractor and he could fit me in today to start getting some ideas—measure the space.”

“And this is a response to this morning?”

“It’s a response to a lot of things and even your reassuring me that my spa Saturdays are healthy. If the world will always beat on me no matter how much I help, I need to make sure I’m helping myself too.”

“Good, glad to hear it.”

I stopped when I got near the door, knowing there was more to this. I turned to her with a tight smile. “What’s up?”

She sighed and nodded, moving in closer and lowering her voice. “Joyce wasn’t gossiping.”

“I know. She never does.” I bounced that around. She actually did all of the time but more passed information to me and what was being said around the hospital. “She never betrays a confidence.”

That was very true.

Renee nodded, glad at least I understood this wasn’t an attack. “She said she sensed panic and fear coming off of you when you laughed about the situation this morning. She feared the whole thing triggered you and you said something…”

I thought about it a moment and frowned. “I didn’t think I felt that, just annoyed at the absurdity. I can’t say she was wrong.”

She studied me a moment. “How about we pick up takeout when it’s time to get off and we can talk while you tell me what the contractor said?”

And tell her what I’d been talking about that set off alarm bells for Joyce.

“Yes, but how about tomorrow so you don’t have to scramble for childcare and juggle things with your husband?” I said gently. I reached over and moved my hand to her arm. “I swear I’m not breaking. I just—sometimes things are so absurd you laugh instead of swear.”

“Tomorrow would be lovely.” She covered my hand with hers. “You’re doing great. I know everything with the board—it will get better.”

“Thanks.” I meant it.

And yes, things after we kicked out the board had been rough.

Really, really,reallyfucking rough.

The meeting went okay. I had reservations about Fred. He seemed… Flighty. Which wasn’t something you wanted in your contractor?

He was ready to move heaven and earth to get the chance to give me an estimate and get his foot through the door, but then I couldn’t get any real answers from him. It wasn’t like I wanted to know when everything would be completed and a cost when we hadn’t even settled on a design and he’d really just gotten ideas from me.

But asking things like what’s his schedule looking like? What does a job like this range?Basic questionspeople ask and he had no real answers and mumbled everything evasively.

Yeah, so not confidence-inspiring.

I called Sean on the way back to the hospital and he laughed at my assessment. He said hecompletelyunderstood where my head was and he should have warned me that Fred was the artist of the projects. He was super eager to get in and see the space, work on ideas, and give customers their dreams.

It was everyone else on the team—especially his business partner—who handled the details and prices—scheduling and all of it.

Yes, that absolutely should have been in the notes when he referred them. But it was last minute and I probably threw Sean for a loop even asking. They were all worried about me… I understood. I thanked him for explaining and told him that I was looking forward to what could come out of it.