Page 122

Story: Electricity

I tried to ignore the words—stupid fucking whore—to understand it, to see where it’d come from, but when I finally let it go and tried to trace it back—nothing—just more sharp painful jabs, as I stretched the boundaries of what I could do to the max.

I caught other fish, ones not meant for me—those I could trace back to owners, their phones and computers, easy. They hurt less, too—although they still hurt. Everything hurt. It was harder and harder to stay focused.

Why couldn’t I trace back that one?

Because they—whoever they were—were good. Very good.

Almost like they’d done this before.

The realization made me resurface into the real world, to discover myself laying on my floor.

All my clothes were on—and there was light filtering through my closed blinds. I stood, shaky. It was—dawn? No—my cat clock said it was 9. AM? It couldn’t be—but my back was stiff, my tongue tasted like last night’s tater tots plus mold, and I felt like someone had been punching me repeatedly in the head. Was this what a hangover felt like? No wonder my mother was always so angry.

My last memory was realizing that Danny, et al, had had time to practice. Shana had graduated last year—but Jenny K was just a grade older, and Leslie—God, was she our age or a freshman? And that wasn’t counting whoever the disembodied girls were that I’d seen, or ones who weren’t still on his phone but on his computer in some ‘originals’ file. Clearly Lacey was just the latest in a string that stretched back who knew how far?

I sat down beside my bed again, cradling my head inside my hands. There was time-travel, and then there was this—at leasteight hours, gone. I was lucky my mom hadn’t come in—would she’ve been able to wake me up?

I reached out for my phone, more out of habit more than anything—and a hundred new texts poured into my already aching head like acid. I dropped it, watched it bounce, and wished I could step on it like a bug.

Allie knocked on my door. “Hey Jessie—there’s a boy here.”

I stood so fast it made my head spin, then grabbed her and pulled her into my room. “Stay here.”

I walked to the front door. There were no windows in the hall, I couldn’t see whose vehicle was parked outside. I hoped it was Darius, but after everything on ZB—I pushed the curtains to our living room window open just enough to see a truck parked outside. Liam’s.

“It’s me, Jessie,” he announced through the door. My heart started revving up.

“You alone?” I asked, ashamed of how my voice broke—because if he wasn’t, I didn’t know what I’d do.

“Yeah.”

I rested my aching head against the doorjamb. I didn’t sense more than one person outside—and I didn’t think he’d driven over just to insult me in person, but who could say.

I opened the door slowly, as he stepped back to give me room. “What brings you here on this fine morning?” I asked with all the sarcasm I could muster.

“We need to talk.”

I carefully closed the door behind me so as not to wake my mom. “About?”

“Away from here?” he asked, gesturing toward his truck. I looked between him and the cab, and then he realized I was hesitating. “Do you really think I’d hurt you?”

I tilted my head as I looked at him. “As I believe you know, there’s about two hundred insulting messages on my phone right now, the most memorable of which threatens to sew my cunt mouth shut. Seeing as sex-ed isn’t so good in this state, I’m not entirely sure if they mean my mouth-mouth, which they’re comparing to a cunt, or my vagina, which they possibly think has a mouth, because they’re that fucking stupid. Either way? You don’t get to feel offended.” I crossed my arms. “So what is it that you want to talk about?”

He shifted his weight from foot to foot and couldn’t quite meet my eyes. “I just wanted to tell you that it isn’t all of us. Not everyone agrees with what’s happening.”

“Wow, I find that so comforting,” I said, completely flat.

“Jessie—”

“No, really. Now if you could just talk all your asshole friends into signing their anonymous threats, then I’d feel really, really, safe, as opposed to the zero percent amount of safe I feel right now.”

Liam looked exasperated. “I should’ve known you’d make this harder than it had to be.”

“Make what harder? Unless I don’t want to know.”

“I’m trying to be nice to you. And tell you not everyone hates you.”

“Yee-fucking-haw, Liam. Do you realize how goddamned hollow that is?”