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I swallow. Look down at the gun. I’ve never touched one before. I don’t even know how to check to see if it’s loaded.
“You press the thingy,” Maureen says. “That button, yeah.”
The... ammo thingy slides out, and sure enough, it’s empty. I push it back into place and put the gun down on the dresser. “I don’t—I can’t point a gun at someone. Not even an unloaded one.” Even as I speak, I realize I’m absentmindedly wiping my hands on my pants.
“I mean... you get used to it,” Maureen cajoles. She waves her own gun and points it at me again. “See?” I wince and move my head so it’s not directly in the line of fire. Maureen lowers her gun again. “Okay, yes, it feels pretty shitty, but needs must, you know?”
“I don’t know!” I cry. “You don’t need to do this. Why are you doing any of it?”
“Because it all sucks!” she cries. “I don’t want to do any of it. It’s all gone wrong, the gifts weren’t even supposed to—they were supposed to be returned to Jackie once it all died down. I just wanted to—I don’t know, I wanted to—” Her voice wobbles, and she pauses to blink away her tears. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter now, because it’s all gone wrong and it’s all because ofyou.”
“Why me?” But even as I say it, it all comes rushing back. Of course. It IS because of me. Because I killed her partner in crime.
“Because you killed Ah Guan. He was supposed to help me with all of this, hide the gifts and then put them back and everything, and you killed him and—god, Meddelin. I may be a thief, but you and your fam are killers,” she says in this super-judgy tone of voice.
“What makes you think we killed him?” I say in my most innocent voice.
“I heard you guys talking about it round the side of the hotel as I was coming back. Sorry, Aunties, but you’re all very loud, and I speak Indo very well. And Chinese. You guys know how it is.”
“Wah, she speaks Indonesian and Chinese very well,” Ma sayswistfully. “Your parents must be so proud.” She gives me a pointed look.
I ignore Ma. “Weren’t you being escorted off the island?”
Maureen shrugs. “I have a black belt in karate.” At my look of horror, she sighs and says, “I didn’t do anything, gosh! I just knocked the guy out a little and took his gun. That’s still not as bad as you guys killing Ah Guan.”
“We didn’t—I didn’t mean to! He was going to attack me. I panicked, and then when I woke up, I thought he was dead. Please, let my family go. They were just trying to help me; we didn’t know he was still alive when we put him in the cooler,” I cry.
Maureen digs a phone out of her pocket and taps on the screen. “Ha, got your confession on tape. Okay, here’s what’s going to happen: I’ve set this voice recording to be blasted on all of my social media in an hour’s time. If you don’t get me the tea ceremony gifts, everyone will know what you and your fam did. If you get me arrested or whatever, the recording will be blasted on social media. Get me the tea ceremony gifts and I’ll delete the recording and we can go our separate ways.”
“Wah, this girl very smart,” Second Aunt muses, nodding grudgingly.
“Iya, pinter ya,” Big Aunt says. “Meddy, should learn to be more like her. Very smart. Must do good business.”
Now it’s my turn to throw up my hands. “Seriously? She’s literally blackmailing us at gunpoint!”
Big Aunt tuts. “Aduh, of course we no mean you should point gun at people. But just saying, this Maureen very—what’s the word—so business-mind—”
“Evil? Crazy?” I cry.
“Hey,” Maureen snaps.
I gesture wildly at her. “You’re pointing a gun at me and asking me to rob your best friend. How much more evil can you get?”
“She see opportunity, she take it,” Second Aunt says. “You should be more like that.” Big Aunt nods, and the two of them look at each other for a moment, as though surprised to find that they’re agreeing with each other for once.
“But don’t point gun at people, very rude,” Ma says.
“Oh, well, I’m glad we have this distinction, at least.” FFS. My family, I tell you. They just know how to push all of my buttons. I’m never good enough for them, not even compared to a gun-toting homicidal robber.
Then I realize that the rage they’ve stirred up inside me has given me newfound strength. I’m so fired up. I need to find a way to prove them wrong, to show them that I’m not this useless ball of tears they seem to think I am.
“If you guys like her so much, then maybe she should be your stinkin’ photographer.” Even as I say it, I know how petty and childish it sounds.
“Aiya, Meddy, don’t be like that,” Ma says. “We only give you advice for your own good, must learn to be smart like Maureen. You see, Maureen want to take tea ceremony gift, so she got to think of every possibility.”
Maureen simpers. “It did take me a while to figure it all out.”
“You be good, you figure out how to take tea ceremony gift and save all of us, okay,” Ma says.