Page 52
Story: Dial A for Aunties
20
“Who Maureen Halim?” Second Aunt says, walking back in the room.
“The maid of honor.” My voice comes out all dazed. I don’t get it. Why would Maureen be calling Ah Guan? Just as I think that, a text comes in.
Maureen [1:32PM]: Where the fuck r u???
Maureen [1:32PM]: The things r ready!!
Maureen [1:33PM]: This was ur idea, don’t tell me ur backing out now!!
Backing out of what? My fingers move faster than my mind does, and before I know it, I’ve typed out a reply.
Ah Guan [1:33PM]: Not backing out, but can’t talk rn.
Maureen [1:34PM]: Can’t talk?! R u fuckin kidding me rn?
She rings again, and this time, I pick up. I don’t even need to say anything before she launches into a tirade. I don’t even need to put her on speaker; in the small, silent room, her voice comes out painfully clear.
“You fucking shithead, you better get here right now and pick shit up, or else I’m gonna report your ass. Door’s unlocked. I’m going into the dining hall before they realize I’m missing. Move. Your. Ass.” With that, she disconnects the call, leaving me staring at the phone.
“Wah, this Maureen very angry girl,” Second Aunt says from behind my back. “She need to do Tai Chi.”
“I guess I need to pick up whatever Ah Guan was supposed to pick up so she doesn’t realize he’s dead,” I say, weakly.
“I go with you,” Second Aunt says. “I done my Tai Chi now, so I very calm. You need someone calm.”
She is not wrong. I thank her, and we both leave the room.
“Where we going?”
“Well, when I left, Maureen was in the bridal suite, so I guess I’ll start there.” There’s a dark suspicion unfolding in my mind as we walk, and I hope against all hope that it’s not what I think it is, but when I get to the bridal suite, the deadbolt on the door has been left in the locked position, with the door slightly open, so that the door doesn’t swing shut and automatically lock. My stomach is twisting, but I make myself knock and call out, “Maureen? You there?”
No answer. I push open the door slightly and peer in. “Maureen?”
Still silence. Second Aunt pushes the door wide open. Or tries to, anyway. There’s something blocking it. We exchange a look and push harder, until the gap is big enough for us to get through.The object that’s behind the door turns out to be a heavy duffel bag. I bend down and unzip it and—
“Ahhh, shit.” I sigh.
“What is it? What inside—oh.”
I suck in a breath through gritted teeth. “The tea ceremony gifts.”
•••
“Waaah, this one’s gorgeous,” Fourth Aunt cries, opening a velvet box and finding a diamond necklace inside. She strokes it with as much adoration as a mother stroking her newborn. “Can’t I just keep one?”
“No!” I snap, snatching the box away from her. I slam it shut and put it back in the duffel bag. When I look back, Second Aunt looks up guiltily. She’s doing Tai Chi in the middle of my hotel room, and on one outstretched arm she has on a thick gold Cartier bracelet and on the other she has a Patek Philippe watch on. “Second Aunt!”
“Not keeping them,” she mutters. “Just want see what they look like when I do Tai Chi.” She moves into a different pose and says, “Grasp the Bird’s Tail pose. Oooh, look nice, ah?”
Fourth Aunt nods appreciatively.
I march over to her and hold out my palm. “Give them back.”
“So spoilsport.” She takes them off and drops them in my hand with a pout.
“I—or we—need to figure out what the hell’s happening.” I pace the room. “Okay, so it looks like Maureen and Ah Guan know each other somehow, and they plotted to steal the tea ceremony gifts. Maureen’s moved the gifts from the boxes into the bag, and Ah Guan’s supposed to pick them up, which we’ve done for him, and now... now what?”
“Who Maureen Halim?” Second Aunt says, walking back in the room.
“The maid of honor.” My voice comes out all dazed. I don’t get it. Why would Maureen be calling Ah Guan? Just as I think that, a text comes in.
Maureen [1:32PM]: Where the fuck r u???
Maureen [1:32PM]: The things r ready!!
Maureen [1:33PM]: This was ur idea, don’t tell me ur backing out now!!
Backing out of what? My fingers move faster than my mind does, and before I know it, I’ve typed out a reply.
Ah Guan [1:33PM]: Not backing out, but can’t talk rn.
Maureen [1:34PM]: Can’t talk?! R u fuckin kidding me rn?
She rings again, and this time, I pick up. I don’t even need to say anything before she launches into a tirade. I don’t even need to put her on speaker; in the small, silent room, her voice comes out painfully clear.
“You fucking shithead, you better get here right now and pick shit up, or else I’m gonna report your ass. Door’s unlocked. I’m going into the dining hall before they realize I’m missing. Move. Your. Ass.” With that, she disconnects the call, leaving me staring at the phone.
“Wah, this Maureen very angry girl,” Second Aunt says from behind my back. “She need to do Tai Chi.”
“I guess I need to pick up whatever Ah Guan was supposed to pick up so she doesn’t realize he’s dead,” I say, weakly.
“I go with you,” Second Aunt says. “I done my Tai Chi now, so I very calm. You need someone calm.”
She is not wrong. I thank her, and we both leave the room.
“Where we going?”
“Well, when I left, Maureen was in the bridal suite, so I guess I’ll start there.” There’s a dark suspicion unfolding in my mind as we walk, and I hope against all hope that it’s not what I think it is, but when I get to the bridal suite, the deadbolt on the door has been left in the locked position, with the door slightly open, so that the door doesn’t swing shut and automatically lock. My stomach is twisting, but I make myself knock and call out, “Maureen? You there?”
No answer. I push open the door slightly and peer in. “Maureen?”
Still silence. Second Aunt pushes the door wide open. Or tries to, anyway. There’s something blocking it. We exchange a look and push harder, until the gap is big enough for us to get through.The object that’s behind the door turns out to be a heavy duffel bag. I bend down and unzip it and—
“Ahhh, shit.” I sigh.
“What is it? What inside—oh.”
I suck in a breath through gritted teeth. “The tea ceremony gifts.”
•••
“Waaah, this one’s gorgeous,” Fourth Aunt cries, opening a velvet box and finding a diamond necklace inside. She strokes it with as much adoration as a mother stroking her newborn. “Can’t I just keep one?”
“No!” I snap, snatching the box away from her. I slam it shut and put it back in the duffel bag. When I look back, Second Aunt looks up guiltily. She’s doing Tai Chi in the middle of my hotel room, and on one outstretched arm she has on a thick gold Cartier bracelet and on the other she has a Patek Philippe watch on. “Second Aunt!”
“Not keeping them,” she mutters. “Just want see what they look like when I do Tai Chi.” She moves into a different pose and says, “Grasp the Bird’s Tail pose. Oooh, look nice, ah?”
Fourth Aunt nods appreciatively.
I march over to her and hold out my palm. “Give them back.”
“So spoilsport.” She takes them off and drops them in my hand with a pout.
“I—or we—need to figure out what the hell’s happening.” I pace the room. “Okay, so it looks like Maureen and Ah Guan know each other somehow, and they plotted to steal the tea ceremony gifts. Maureen’s moved the gifts from the boxes into the bag, and Ah Guan’s supposed to pick them up, which we’ve done for him, and now... now what?”
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