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“OH MY GOD!” I scream.
Tom startles awake. “Wh-wha?” he rasps, blinking around him and wincing. “My head.”
“Nice job! I knew you had Asian Auntie within you,” Seb says, lifting his palm for a high five, but I rush past him and head for the door. “Where are you going? You still need to wake the groomsmen.”
“Just pour water over them. I gotta go.” I run all the way down the hallway, holding down my precious camera and camera bag so they don’t bounce too hard. My heartbeat is a constant roar in my ears. By the time I catch up to my mom and aunts, I’m breathing so hard I feel like I’m about to vomit out my lungs.
“Meddy, oh good,” Ma says, cheerily. “You take that corner and lift.”
“What are you doing?” I whisper-shout. “His hand’s out!” I lift the cooler’s top up slightly and shove Ah Guan’s hand back inside. It’s only when it’s in that I realize I’ve just touched his corpse. A shudder runs through my body.
Ma, Big Aunt, and Fourth Aunt’s eyes widen.
“Oops,” Ma says after a second.
“Must be when we go over that bump,” Big Aunt says.
“Why are you moving him now?” I cry.
“The fridge getting so crowded, people coming in and out, in and out. I think not safe there,” Big Aunt says.
“And since got three of us, we think we can carry all the way down to pier, no problem,” Ma says.
I blink. No problem? Their version of “no problem” is to struggle with the cooler all the way to the pier with his goddamn hand sticking out of it? The thought of what would’ve happened if I hadn’t spotted them through the window makes my knees buckle. And who knows how many people have seen them?
“Yes, got three of us, no need your Second Aunt,” Big Aunt says.
Inside me, a star implodes. This. This right here is the real reason why Big Aunt got Ma and Fourth Aunt to move the cooler now, of all times. Because Big Aunt wants to prove that SecondAunt isn’t needed. I can just imagine the smug look on Big Aunt’s face when Second Aunt finds out that we’ve resolved everything without her help. Big Aunt will be all, “You see? I can handling the thing just fine, you no need worry,” and Second Aunt will be all inwardly going “Fuck you,” but then outwardly she’ll have to smile and congratulate Big Aunt on a job well done. I can’t believe my aunts’ rivalry with each other is jeopardizing us getting away with murder.
“Anyway, now you here, we can definitely move body down to pier,” Ma says. “Ayo, cepat.”
I check the time. Still about twenty minutes left before Second Aunt is done with the bride’s hair and makeup. Jacqueline is nice, but she’s not going to be pleased if I completely miss the shots of her getting ready. But then again, a disappointed bride is much better than, you know, getting arrested because you’re found in possession of a dead body. And now that we’re here, getting back to the kitchen will be just as troublesome. We may as well see this through right here, right now.
With a frustrated groan, I take one corner of the cooler. Together, we heave, and the cooler lifts off the ground. We walk as quickly as we can, and with each step, my shoulder muscles burn, and my thighs shriek and beg for me to stop.
It feels like an eternity before the pier comes into view, and I nearly whoop with joy at the sight of all those yachts tethered there.
“Ladies,” the yacht organizer calls out as we approach. “Can I help you with something?”
We lower the cooler gently, and I turn to him. “We need (gasp) to get on (gasp) a yacht (gasp) back to L.A.”
“Sure, hop right on.”
“Oh, thank you, thank you.” My family and I make excited faces at one another and lift the cooler back up.
“Whoa, whoa, what’s this?” the yacht organizer says. What adouche. He would’ve seen that we were carrying the cooler down the pier, but he’s waited for us to pick it back up before asking about it. Prick.
“Oh, it’s baking supplies. My aunt’s the baker, and we need to get this stuff back to the bakery. There’s not much space left in the kitchen.”
The yacht organizer’s eyes narrow. “Ah. Caterers.” He says it like a dirty word. “Sorry, this yacht’s for guests only?”
We stare at him. “Is that a question?” Fourth Aunt says.
“No? I mean like, it’s for guests only. Period.”
“Technically, I’m not a caterer,” Fourth Aunt says, flipping her hair back. “I’m the star of the show, so.”
“Oh? I don’t know who you are...” He narrows his eyes like he’s trying to figure out who she is.