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“Seems too quick for it to be from that. I’ll keep an eye on it. Let me know if you think she needs to make an appointment with her doctor.”
I ran my hand down my face. This was not the news I wanted this morning. Sofia put her hand on my arm and squeezed my elbow. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah, I guess I…” I shrugged. “Well, maybe it was naive of me, but I sort of thought she’d been improving.” Especially since meeting Natasha.
Sofia’s mouth stretched into a thin line. “Trent, you know there’s no reality where Dee just gets better, right? Not without intervention.”
“I know.” Despite how much I wanted it, I knew Dee wasn’t going to magically recover from heart failure. It didn’t work like that. “What I meant was…she’s seemed more energetic these past weeks. More engaged than she’s been since her diagnosis. She started coming into the office again for our lunch dates. She visited with the staff. She attended things with the guys, like Hailey’s party.”
“Sounds like she made an effort for you,” Sofia said, smiling softly. “She does nothing but talk my ear off about how much she loves Natasha, and how good she is for you.”
The corner of my mouth twitched. Natasha had been good for us both. But I couldn’t bring myself to fully smile when the situation was so grim. I didn’t need Dee to make an effort for me. I needed her to make one for herself.
“I need her towantthis surgery, Sofia.”
“I know.”
“To want more time with me and her Lost Boys.” I’d hoped this whole fake relationship I’d started with Natasha might spur her to get treatment so she could be around for all these newmilestones. But what if it had the opposite effect? What if Dee felt that she could let go now that I seemed to be happily settled?
“You can’t force her into these decisions,” Sofia said, sighing heavily. “No matter how much you want to. I know it’s hard, but you have to respect her right to make what she thinks is the best decision for herself.”
“It’s not the best decision,” I said, the words more of a growl than I’d intended. “She’s just scared. Too afraid to fight after watching what my grandfather went through. She’s given up without even trying.”
“Maybe,” Sofia said. “But that, too, is something for Dee to work out.”
“I can’t just sit here and let the disease take her.”
“The best thing you can do for Dee right now is support her decisions.”
“I don’t know how to do that,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Youaredoing it,” Sofia said, squeezing my arm again. “Just like this. You show up and you be there for her. That’s it.”
“It’s not enough.” I was failing Dee. Everything else in my life seemed to be so wonderful. The new line was progressing beautifully. We’d have a couple pieces ready for the trade show at the end of the month. Things with Natasha were more than good. But none of that mattered if I lost Dee.
“Why don’t you go up and sit with her for a while?” Sofia suggested. “It’ll be good for you both. Plus, I need a break from all the princess talk,” she teased.
“Yeah, there was sure a lot of that yesterday,” I muttered. “Dee got very invested in playing with the kids. I think they crowned her queen at one point.”
Sofia chuckled. “I’m glad she had a good time. But she needs to remember not to push herself so hard.”
I should have known better. “Maybe I should have taken her home after an hour.”
Sofia tutted. “I don’t think Dee would have listened to either of us if she was determined to be at that party.”
Shewasstubborn. I knew that. If not, I’d have already scheduled her for this surgery.
Sofia inclined her head toward the stairs. “Go on. She knows you were on your way. If you don’t get up there soon, she’ll start complaining that we’re gossiping about her.”
That got a bit of a smile out of me. If nothing else, I could always rely on Dee complaining about that. “I’ll talk to you later,” I said as I headed upstairs for Dee’s bedroom.
The long hallway had a plush runner, and the walls were adorned with framed photos. Most of them were of me and Jimmy—baby photos, graduation photos, us at the lake house, me and the Lost Boys, Jimmy and his favorite dog, Spud. This hallway was like a time capsule of our life with Dee, and I wasn’t ready to give that up.
I knocked on the door at the end of the hall, pushing it open when Dee called out. She lay in the middle of her massive four-poster bed, the newspaper unfurled in her lap. She looked incredibly tiny propped up on the plush pillows. The whir of heroxygen tank filled the room. I swallowed the bile that filled my mouth.
“Morning.”
“There you are,” she said. She looked pointedly at the chair next to her bed. “I would have met you at the door, but I’ve been instructed to rest.”