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They both smirk in understanding.

“Does she speak?” Bruno asks.

Oh, does she.

“I’d love to know where you got your street name, Bruno.” I grin at him.

To my surprise, he gets giddy at the ask. “Which one? Belly or Stunad?”

“Um, let’s go with the latter?”

He cackles. “Was doing a—uh, a job, and on my way out with some – let’s call thempastries– I got a spurt of vertigo and ran into the wall. Pastries flew everywhere, got a broken nose, and had to be dragged out by my partner in crime. Not my proudest moment.”

Trino hoots. “Then why you smiling?”

“Shit’s funny, boss.” He shrugs.

“Now whenever he’s feeling a bout coming on, I just bounce these in his face to set him straight,” Chestnut says.

The three of them laugh at the crude humor. There’s something endearing about it, in a slime ball Star Dust kind of way.

“So that’s why they keep you in an office now,” I say.

“Whoa. Whoa. I never thought of it that way.” He looks at Trino in shock. “Smart cookie, this one.Hey, Knots, is that why I’m in charge of the books now? The fuck?”

The tone is light, but I can tell Trino is ready to move on.

“Is that all?” he changes the subject.

“Nah, nah. Chestnut needs you for a second… in private. I’ll take Misty for a tour, if that’s alright.”

Trino eyes me, and nods, giving me another sliver of comfort. But when I say sliver, I meansliver. My hands are definitely getting clammy, and my heart is in my throat. I could’ve done five more years of nerve-wracking law school and still be unprepared for this.

Freakin’ hell.

Bruno offers his arm to me with a smile, and I take it so not to offend. His underarm is emitting heat like a furnace, and up close, I see a few pock marks from some scarred-over pimples. Other than that, his aura is perfectly pleasant.

We stroll to the bar. Every step sinks my heart a little further. Trino is my only sense of comfort, and he’s leaving with another woman with gigantic breasts.We’re supposed to get married tomorrow,I tell him telepathically.This isn’t your bachelor party!

The heck is wrong with me? Why do I feel so jealous?

It’s that orgasm virginity. Has to be.

Bruno presents me to three women huddled around the corner of the bar. One is a platinum blonde with smaller breasts than me – I don’t know why I’m comparing – but a more shapely bum. It makes my confidence sink. I thought I had the all-star bum in terms of fitness. Guess I’m out of my league here. The other two are brunettes, one curly, one wavy. All features manmade like dolls.

“Ladies, ladies. I’d like to introduce you to our latest girl, Misty. I know you’re all dying to give her a warm welcome.”

I can’t tell if Bruno is being sarcastic or not.

He lets go of me to wrap his arms around their waists, waiting for a kiss on the cheek each. “This here is Ruby, Diamond, and Britta.”

Goddammit. Of course the blonde with a better ass than mine is Britta. Welp, that means he was being sarcastic too. Is this like the X-rated version of the Plastics or something? If so, Britta is definitely Regina.

Oh God, and I’m Cady!

“Happy to be here.” I flash my bitchiest smile to combat theirs. Inside though, the terror is worse than first day of freshman class. A bead of sweat trickles down my temple, swerving toward the back of my neck like a good little droplet. Hope to God they didn’t see.

One of the Plastics nods to me. “You can take my spot as the first pole dance of the night. You’ll be alongside Nina and Arora.”