Page 18
Story: Delivered in White
“Checking to see if the coast is clear for my father.” I hang a right, preparing for the stop sign so I can peek down Capri’s street. Flashing lights with no siren circle up ahead. Two cops are ringing the bell of Capri’s neighbors.
I pick up my burner phone and dial my father.
“Yo,”his voice rattles.
“Yeah. Sonny’s boys scattered. As soon as the lights dim, get moving.” I squint to make sure I have the details right.
“Copy. Hey—”
“What?” I can already feel what’s coming by the tone in his voice.
“You and your new fiancée getting along?”
I hang up the phone and step on the gas again, evoking another yelp that makes me want to put a piece of tape over her mouth.
“Aren’t you supposed to protect me?” Capri fidgets in her seat. “Slowdown.”
I cackle. “What’s the point of having a twin-turbo engine if I’m just going to putter around like a little pink-nosed accountant?”
“I’m a lawyer, actually.”
“Same shit. White-collar goody-goody. Sit behind a desk, pretend you’re being useful, while in reality, you’re just riding on the coattails of the real moneymakers.”
She frowns at me. “I liked you better when I thought you were a meathead.”
“Yeah, because you just like to hear yourself yap. Fuckin’ lawyer.”
“Well, what do you do with yourself, Mister High-and-mighty, besides strangle people with a little piece of string?”
I glare at her, and she cowers.
“Sorry. Shouldn’t have said that. Not being ungrateful,” her tone softens a bit. “Oh, and—uh—about before.”
“Not in the mood.” My chest grows hot with annoyance.
“Well, in this relationship, we’re going to speak our feelings. Otherwise we’ll grow to be a resentful old couple, like the grandparents inEverybody Loves Raymond—”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Capri clears her throat. “—as I was saying. I didn’t mean to shit on your lifestyle before, in my neighbors’ backyard. It’s none of my business what you like to do with your time.”
“Damn straight.”
She sighs at me. “Well, don’t you have anything to say?”
My eye twitches. “You’re welcome.”
She crosses her legs and folds her arms like she just closed up her business. Good. Finally, some peace and quiet.
We drive for five minutes before a strange feeling tugs at my chest. The fuck is this? Guilt? Is she upset I tried to kiss her when we were getting hot before? What’s the big fucking deal? Two people like each other, they kiss, they fuck. That’s how it goes for me, anyway.
Sheshould apologize tome. Blue balls is like a kick in the nuts.
I thought it’d be peaceful having her quiet. But I was wrong. It’s awkward. She emits this weird tension in the air like reverse-pheromones or something. Makes me wanna spray some cologne at her.
The silence annoys me on the way to my house, so I crank on some club beats – that should bother her enough to say something. But she’s good at what she does – being annoying. Bouncing her foot up and down like she’s enjoying it.Psh.Yeah right.
“Is this Diplo?” she shouts over the beat, and I laugh.
I pick up my burner phone and dial my father.
“Yo,”his voice rattles.
“Yeah. Sonny’s boys scattered. As soon as the lights dim, get moving.” I squint to make sure I have the details right.
“Copy. Hey—”
“What?” I can already feel what’s coming by the tone in his voice.
“You and your new fiancée getting along?”
I hang up the phone and step on the gas again, evoking another yelp that makes me want to put a piece of tape over her mouth.
“Aren’t you supposed to protect me?” Capri fidgets in her seat. “Slowdown.”
I cackle. “What’s the point of having a twin-turbo engine if I’m just going to putter around like a little pink-nosed accountant?”
“I’m a lawyer, actually.”
“Same shit. White-collar goody-goody. Sit behind a desk, pretend you’re being useful, while in reality, you’re just riding on the coattails of the real moneymakers.”
She frowns at me. “I liked you better when I thought you were a meathead.”
“Yeah, because you just like to hear yourself yap. Fuckin’ lawyer.”
“Well, what do you do with yourself, Mister High-and-mighty, besides strangle people with a little piece of string?”
I glare at her, and she cowers.
“Sorry. Shouldn’t have said that. Not being ungrateful,” her tone softens a bit. “Oh, and—uh—about before.”
“Not in the mood.” My chest grows hot with annoyance.
“Well, in this relationship, we’re going to speak our feelings. Otherwise we’ll grow to be a resentful old couple, like the grandparents inEverybody Loves Raymond—”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Capri clears her throat. “—as I was saying. I didn’t mean to shit on your lifestyle before, in my neighbors’ backyard. It’s none of my business what you like to do with your time.”
“Damn straight.”
She sighs at me. “Well, don’t you have anything to say?”
My eye twitches. “You’re welcome.”
She crosses her legs and folds her arms like she just closed up her business. Good. Finally, some peace and quiet.
We drive for five minutes before a strange feeling tugs at my chest. The fuck is this? Guilt? Is she upset I tried to kiss her when we were getting hot before? What’s the big fucking deal? Two people like each other, they kiss, they fuck. That’s how it goes for me, anyway.
Sheshould apologize tome. Blue balls is like a kick in the nuts.
I thought it’d be peaceful having her quiet. But I was wrong. It’s awkward. She emits this weird tension in the air like reverse-pheromones or something. Makes me wanna spray some cologne at her.
The silence annoys me on the way to my house, so I crank on some club beats – that should bother her enough to say something. But she’s good at what she does – being annoying. Bouncing her foot up and down like she’s enjoying it.Psh.Yeah right.
“Is this Diplo?” she shouts over the beat, and I laugh.
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