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My crew is beside me to soften the nerves – Mikey, Bruno, Snaps… and even my cousin, Castor, stand as my groomsmen. It’s all a big show.

Put me in a gunfight eight-against-one and I’d be more comfortable than I am right now.Fuck.

Whatever. I’ll stand tall and give all the reactions the crowd’s expecting. I’ll do it for her.

The last few weeks she’s been on edge, which tells me this means a lot. I get it, I guess. Some women grow up dreaming about this day, so if I have to grin and bear it for a few hours,fine.

“Lookin’ a little stiff up there, Capo.” Snaps hits my arm playfully, and I grunt at him to shut up.

The others laugh, and I can’t help but smirk.

Seeing Don Stallion – head of our Valentino crime family – sitting in the second row makes me realize I’ve finally made it. I earned my spot. The weird thing? I don’t give a fuck about it right now. It’s only my crew, my pops, and Capri that I’m thinking about.

It’s weird, but if Nicky never threatened her, I may have taken too long to understand what’s important.

One look over at my father makes it hard to swallow. Sure, he’s cracking jokes with the other old timers, but he has to hold onto the pew just to keep himself upright. His voice is going, too. I can pluck his wheeze out of a crowd of a thousand.

At least you don’t have to hide anymore, Pop.

My eyes drift to the aisle, where there’s a huge white carpet and ribbons tethering all the pews together. Usually I don’t recognize such frivolous shit, but Capri’s been yapping about decorations for so long I think she warped my brain.

“Oh,oh,here we go. Shut up, boys.” Mikey adjusts his jacket once the piano starts.

Why’d he have to say that? It’s making me all jittery.

We’re standing here like dumb bouncers at Star Dust waiting for the women to walk down the aisle. The first one is pretty, in a goofy sort of way. That’s her lawyer friend, Jacky.She’s all cheesy smiles, and isn’t nervous at all with hundreds of eyes on her.

I’m envious.

A few of Capri’s cousins I just recently met come down next. They were close when they were young, or something. And now our marriage rekindled their connection. Adorable… let’s move on. Where’s my woman?

Once the row to my right is full of champagne dresses worn by giddy women, the large double doors down the way close and the music stops.

The hell is this?

Whenever I’m invited to a wedding, I usually skip the church and head straight to the reception. This silence is torture.

There’s tension in the air by design, and it’s driving me crazy.

Watching the women beside me holding their chests and whispering makes me want to run off the altar.

I never expected something like this to have an effect on me. All the planning she went through seemed so trivial – flowers, tables settings,seating arrangements?I mean, who gives a fuck, really? But now that I’m staring generations of family and friends in the face, I get it. This means something. It’s a celebration of something powerful. Something my father could see and I couldn’t.

Bwoof!

The double doors bellow open again, cuing some traditional song to begin that makes my heart skip a beat. And when I see my beautiful bride walk up to the doors in a dress that would make any man kneel, I loosen my fists.

“She’s beautiful, boss.” Snaps nudges me again.

This time, I don’t grunt.

Rocco looks like a pig in shit escorting her onward. He’s come a long way from that day in his backyard.

But Capri. She looks incredible. Her dress is form-fitted and tight. Is it fucked up I want to rip it right off of her and take her in one of those confessionals? Can’t help it. That thought was spawned by my cock, but the next are all genuine.

I’ll be the man you want me to be. I can respect this wedding bullshit.

As if reading my thoughts, she smiles bashfully under her veil.