Page 76

He responded to it just as he said he would. He willingly allowed Hana and I to extract the souls from his body and deposit them into the hundreds of crystals we’d gathered. He testified that he was deserving of his punishment. He put up no fight when we fastened the cuffs around his wrists and ankles. He shut his eyes and allowed Stella, Sanvi, and Anise to cast a spell that’d dampen his abilities while imprisoned.

And then, for the thousandth time now, he apologized. He apologized to the crystals full of the souls he’d stolen. He apologized to the twenty-four of us. He apologized especially to Hana and Venark.

It hurt to bear witness to this. It hurt to vote against him. It hurt to know that for a thousand years, he’d be alone in a cell. He had plenty of children who’d visit him, I knew, and I planned to see him regularly as well.

But the fact was, no matter how angry his actions made me, no matter how frustrated I was over the condition of Morduaine and Matriaza, he was my brother. The list of things Lux had done wrong in his life was as long as the world was wide, but I’d seen good in him since he was born. I’d seen compassion, and kindness, and love. Yes, there was fury unlike anything else. Incompetence, at times. But always light.

He was not evil.

Despite the fact that what Lux had done was far worse than what the boys had done, I saw in Lux what I did not see in the boys.

I loved them. Evil as they were, I fucking loved them. Michael’s wisdom was fascinating and a joy to witness. Gabriel’s strength and snarky attitude made it impossible to hate him.

But Lux had that kindness in him that his boys didn’t.

Lux had burned two worlds to save his children. I couldn’t say I would do the same, but I understood it, and I almost respected it.

After I hid the crystals away in a cavern deep on Morduaine, I was the one chosen to escort him to his cell with Rafael’s help opening the egress. We were walking from the courtroom to the exit, his hands cuffed before his hips, when he said, “I’ll find out what they did to Pa. One way or the other, I’ll make sure he’s freed, Nix.”

“I’d appreciate that,” I said. “But perhaps the old man needed a rest either way.”

Lux chuckled.

I gave him a smile. “We’ll make sure he gets his memories back when we find him.”

“Convenient thing about what we are and what we can do,” Rafael said, walking at my side with a hand on the hilt of his blade. “Nothing ever really dies.”

“Certainly makes grieving easier,” I said.

“I’m not sure that I’ve needed to for many things,” Rafael said. “Even Hana and Venark’s deaths. They’ve impacted me, but mostly, they pissed me off.”

“Believe you get that from your mum,” I said, referencing Cere.

“I think the hardest thing I’ve grieved so far was Matriaza,” Lux murmured, almost too quiet for me to hear. “I know it’s my fault, but…”

I knew the feeling. “I’ve grieved my mum. But aye, it’s nothing compared to grieving those lands.”

The air thickened, silence settling in.

But it strengthened my respect for Lux.

He had grown. He was not the teenager who’d forced a woman who hated him into marriage. He may’ve had the same grasp on his temper as my toddler, but he’d matured, and although I’d never admit it aloud, I was proud of him.

* * *

Lux’s cell was four down from Michael’s. Rafael and I had debated whether that was wise, but it was clear that even if Michael didn’t see his shortcomings, Lux did. We hoped that humility would influence his son.

It was on the third floor, and we’d just rounded the second flight of stairs. We could’ve lapsed—Lux had even suggested it—but if I was being honest, I was enjoying the conversation with him.

The talk was useless. All business had been attended to now. If we did have business we needed his input for, we could collect him for a day from his cell.

But that wasn’t the point. This was comforting.

It reminded me of when we were children, and Pa would send us to our room for sneaking around the castle after bedtime. He had his eyes on us by then, so there was no use in running and hiding elsewhere. So we walked shoulder to shoulder through the snowy halls, laughing quietly about the jokes only he and I understood.

We knew we had to go to our own rooms and lie in our own beds, so we trekked slowly, at a speed that wouldn’t get us hollered at for intentionally being disobedient, but slow enough that we got just a few more moments together before we were sentenced to solitude. It never lasted long. Perhaps a night, maybe even two, if Lux’s mother had been the one to dish out the punishment.

This felt the same because even though we knew we’d be apart, even though he knew he’d broken the rules, it wouldn’t be long before that lonesome night was only a distant memory. We’d get to run around the castle and play in the courtyard and fight over whose turn it was at the harp and sneak sweets from the kitchen again one day.