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On one hand, I could count the times that Dem cussed. It warmed my heart more than it should’ve that now was the time that he did it again.

“We’ll be back one day.” I managed a smile for him. “I’ll bring Cere.”

He snorted, tightening his jaw to a line.

Finding Rafael’s eyes, I softened my voice, giving him the same smile I’d given Dem. “Please. Please let me go back to her.”

“My father will kill me. You know that, don’t you?” Rafael asked. “If I kill you, he’ll never forgive me.”

“He hasn’t seen what I’ve done to his sons yet,” I said. “Might change his perspective.”

He made a face that said,Valid point.

“We do need to discuss that before you do it,” Queen Iliantha said. “What should be done with the boys once you’re gone?”

“Michael should be killed,” I said.

“I agree,” Medica said. “Someone needs to knock that twisted little fucker off his high horse.”

“Pa and I have already discussed that,” Rafael said. “Michael will be reborn into a humbler life than he was born into. Gabriel will as well.”

“The others aren’t as bad,” I said. “Stubborn. Easily manipulated. But a few centuries in solitary should humble them.”

“Possibly,” Rafael said. “We’re close to regaining Matriax. We could’ve used your help, by the way.”

“I knocked out the top,” I said. “I imagine that’s why you’ve been able to get where you are there.”

He sighed, as if to say,Yes, but it’s been inconvenient, and it would’ve been nice to have help front and center.

“By close, what do you mean?” Medica asked. “Because it’s best if we do help them first.”

“It’s just a matter of getting the stragglers now.” Rafael shook his head. “Pa’s back in the castle. Once things settle, he’s prepared to serve his sentence as well. The only reason he hasn’t already is because I’ve needed him.”

“There you have it then,” I said. “Now, I’m ready to die.”

Rafael tightened his teeth to a line. “Don’t you want to talk to Heylel first?”

“I’ll tell him,” Alastair said. “If we tell him now, he won’t let it happen.”

My heart hurt for that.

It wasn’t going to be easy for him. Dem and I were the only parental figures he had left.

“I’ll be back,” I said. “And I’ll find his mums too.”

“Ye don’t know that,” Dem snapped. “You won’t have any memory of this life.”

“Not at first,” I said. “But I’m sure Lux’ll be watching over me. Now that we know the whole story, it’s just a matter of time before Rafael and Lux are able to track us all down.”

“I still don’t like this,” Rafael said. “I don’t like it at all.”

“It’s a mercy kill.” The queen’s eyes flicked over me. “No offense, Nix.”

“None taken.”

* * *

There was one thing I needed to do before Rafael killed me.