Page 42

My cell phone vibrates, and I pull it out of the waistband of my sweatpants.
Where the fuck are you? If I tell your father that you ran off again by yourself, he’ll kill both of us!
Ding!
Okay, so it’s not Alexi ringing the bell. Great. It’s some random person who obviously can’t read and insists on ringing that damn bell. I mean, the sign says Closed, for Christ’s sake! I roll my eyes. “Coming!” I already hate this person, who the fuck ever it is. I wipe under my eyes one more time, praying that the evidence of my earlier hysterics have magically vanished.
I round the corner and plaster on a smile for the guy with his back to me, hoping I don’t look like too much of a train wreck. “Hi, can I help you?”
He slowly turns, and I choke back a gasp, my hands flying up to my messy ponytail. “Jesus Christ! What the hell are you doing here?”
Rocco steps toward me, and I instinctively back away. “Kat…” he says, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Yes, it’s me!” I throw my hands into the air. “Okay? This is how I really look! I’m shorter than you, I don’t roll out of bed wearing ten pounds of makeup, and I do own sweats!” I shove past him and lock the front door so I don’t have any more unwelcome visitors, today of all days, when I just want to be alone.
I flip the lock and turn around, my arms folded over my chest. “Now tell me why you’re here.”
He grins. “You look different, but fuck, that fire still rages, huh?”
I roll my eyes and shove him away as I walk back down the hall toward the animals. “Why don’t you just fuck off? I don’t know why you’re here anyway. You made it pretty clear last night that you’re not interested in anything with me.” I bite my lower lip. Shit, that came out sounding a little scorned.
“That’s why I came.” His sneakers pound on the tiled floor behind me as he runs to catch up. “Something was up with you last night.”
“Something was up with you, too.” I toss him a quick, sidelong glance and cock an eyebrow. “But I’m guessing it didn’t stay that way for long. Or did you go back to find your whorey groupies after you blew me off?”
“Would you just stop for a minute?” He grabs my wrist and gently tugs it. I don’t pull away, I just stare down at his fingers. They’re not loosening at all, even when I give him my best death glare.
“You made it pretty clear that you’re not into…whatever this is.” I shrug. “It could have been fun, but it’s fine. I’m fine, if that’s what you were worried about.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “You don’t look fine.”
I twist out of his vise-like grip and poke him in the chest. “If you think this is because of you…” I let out a dry laugh and shake my head. “You’re insane.”
“Then tell me, Kat. Tell me what’s going on. I mean, you’re usually a bitch on wheels, but there’s something else happening here. I’ve never seen you like that, okay? I just want to know—”
I clutch the sides of my head. “Stop! Just stop! If there was anything I wanted to talk to you about, I would sooner kill myself for giving a shit, okay?”
“You don’t need to do this. You think you have to act so tough all the time to hide what you’re really feeling, but it’s—”
“Fuck you! Don’t pretend that you know me at all!” I grab the sides of his jacket and push him against the wall. I stare up at him because the damn flip-flops subtract about five inches from my height. But size has nothing on my anger. “Fucking you would have been fun. Period. Maybe I just needed that last night. I sure as hell don’t need it now, so if you’re back here for another shot, think again. Offer’s off the table.”
“I didn’t come here for sex.”
“Then why did you come, Rocco?” I yell. “I don’t need a therapist! I am just fine!” Tears sting my eyes and spill over, rushing down the sides of my face like the world is ending. Oh yeah, mine already did. “Just fucking fine!”
The expression on his face is priceless. If I wasn’t so tormented by grief right now, I think I might actually laugh. He has no idea how to react right now, no clue what to do or say. I never thought I’d see the day that Rocco Lucchese would be silenced by a woman, especially a crazed woman who is losing her goddamned mind. “Kat,” he whispers.
“Leave! Just fucking leave!” I pound on his chest with my fists. “Get the hell out of here! I don’t need you! I don’t need anyone!” My shoulders quake, my breaths short and sharp. I swipe at the tears blurring my vision but they don’t stop. Just when I thought I’d cried for ten lifetimes, they start again.
Will they ever stop?
“I’m not leaving.”
“I hate you!” I scream, launching my fist at his face. He doesn’t even try to block it, even though my wind-up is hella sloppy. He could have grabbed my wrist, could have stopped it from connecting with his jaw.
He didn’t.
He let it happen.