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“Is this really necessary? It’s not like I’ve ever gone into hiding before, and I think we both know I’ve done way worse than this. You keep letting these scumbags get away with taking more and more from us. I don’t understand why you won’t talk to me about it. I know you have reasons, but dammit, I want to know what they are! Besides, if they come after me, I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. You did see Alexi when you came in, didn’t you? And I went easy on him today.”
“You went after the wrong person for the wrong reasons. Again! And my reasons shouldn’t matter to you. I have a reason for every single action I take…for every directive I give! The money is easy to overlook when you think about the consequences. Raines stole from us, but worse than that, he had vicious enemies. Now those enemies are our enemies.” He steps closer to me. “And the loss isn’t even a consideration. No amount of money can compare to keeping you safe.” His voice, while gruff, is also thick with emotion. Emotion that makes my gut clench. Emotion that I haven’t heard in a very long time. In fact, it’s been so long, it may just be a memory I concocted and revisit whenever I want to feel like I actually have a parent who cares about me as more than just a hired gun.
Yeah, I’ve got more kills than the rest of his guys combined, but I’m still his daughter. Sometimes, I like to know that he remembers that, too.
I swallow hard. I messed up. And now I have to deal with the fallout.
But it doesn’t stop me from pressing on.
Because I’m just a glutton for punishment.
I wipe the sweat drizzling down the side of my face with my arm. “If you let me stay, I can bait them.”
“Are you crazy? Do you realize how dangerous that is?”
“Let them try to come after me! I’ve lost so much, I don’t even care anymore!” I stomp in a circle around my father, my sneakers pounding on the cold concrete floor. “I’ll take them all down!”
Papa scrubs a hand down the front of his face. I know he’s trying to control his own rage right now…maybe because Alexi is close by, maybe because he realizes it won’t do him any good to lash out at me. “Katarina, this anger is dangerous! It grows deeper with each passing year, and it will be the cause your demise if you don’t get control of it! I do everything in my power to keep you safe and protected. If you want to stay alive, you will listen to me!”
A large lump forms in my throat. I try to swallow past it, but I can’t. It’s too big, too suffocating. I can’t breathe, and the sob caught in my chest slowly chokes me.
The guilt is excruciating. I wear it like a noose around my goddamn neck.
I know exactly why I went against his will, why I can’t let go of the possibility that one of our enemies was responsible for killing my family.
I vowed to myself years ago that I’d take them all out, one by one.
I don’t believe it was a random break-in. I never did.
Someone is responsible, and that elusive someone is going to pay.
I knew exactly what I was doing when I went to see Raines.
It happens every year on the same day when I allow the rage to consume me. It blinds me and mutes all sensibilities.
I ignore my role.
I ignore my allegiance to my father.
I ignore my responsibilities.
For one single day.
Yesterday.
Our birthday.
Mybirthday.
He wants to send me away to protect me.
How ironic that all I want is to be found by the people I’ve hunted for the past eight years.
They will find me. I’ll make sure of that.
And I’ll also make sure they will suffer the same fate that Mom and Lili did.