Page 51

1989
‘It worked perfectly!’ Katie scrambles in through the window to where Charlotte is waiting in the stifling heat of the old house. ‘You’re so clever, Charlotte, you really are. How on earth did you know all that stuff?’
She shrugs. ‘Read it in one of my ma’s books.’
‘Well, it went like a dream.’ She holds out two large slices of chocolate cake. ‘Mummy made it for me to take to Mr Gauci’s house for him and his wife. I’ve got sandwiches too.’
They sit on the dusty mats and start their feast, Charlotte making sure to chew the thick white bread – no cheap thin doughy slices for Katie’s family – slowly, enjoying the butter and mustard and proper ham.
‘You should have seen his face,’ Katie’s eyes shine with the memory, ‘when I told him that if he didn’t go along with letting me out all day, I’d say he’d touched me. He went positively puce.’
Charlotte doesn’t know what puce is, but it sounds a bit like puke so she figures Katie means green.
‘He said no one would believe me, and so I said all the things you’d told me, thedetailof what I’d say he did, and I swear I thought he might cry. I ended up pretty much comforting him. I did explain that no one would ever find out and he was basically getting paid for nothing, so why worry? I told him to take his wife out to lunch. And d’you know what I said after? Oh, Charlotte, you’d have been so proud!’
‘What?’ Charlotte says, smiling. Katie’s joy is her joy. Katie is the sunshine. Katie leans in, their faces kissing-close.
‘I told him maybe he should try some of the things I’d mentioned on her!’ She bursts into laughter. ‘Oh God, you should have seen it! I thought he might die!’
Charlotte tries to laugh but her smile is stretched too wide. Tearing at her like the sharpness in her gut. Those were things from the chippy that she’d given to Katie. She’d earned that knowledge not from a trashy novel, but from a small room reeking of hot fat and sweaty men.
‘Anyway,’ Katie waits until she’s swallowed a bit of her sandwich before continuing to speak and Charlotte makes a note not to talk with her own mouth full any more. ‘I did the work in about five minutes, so if Mummy asks when she picks me up, there’s no need for suspicion. The summer hols are ours! Four hours a day, anyway.’
‘Will she come to check on you, do you think?’ Charlotte says, worried. It would be shite if Katie’s ma caught her out. She’d lock her up all summer for it, to keep her safe.
‘No. She’s seeing the therapist and he told her she has to let me be during the tutor lessons. Death, death, death, worry. That’s all she does. I wouldn’t mind if she was worried about her own – her death I could cope with – it’s all being transferred to me. It’s not fucking fair.’
That makes Charlotte laugh. Katie has given hersurrealandpuce.In return, Charlotte has given herfuckingandshite.
‘You wouldn’t have had to have the extra lessons at all if you didn’t play so soft and simple all the time.’
‘Life is easier this way,’ she says with a shrug. ‘Why do you play so tough?’
‘I don’tplaytough,’ Charlotte grins and Katie smiles back, leaning on her shoulder. After a moment, she sits upright and frowns.
‘You’re getting boobs!’ One slim finger pokes Charlotte’s chest.
‘Get off!’ She pushes Katie’s hand away, blushing and awkward. She’s tried to hide it under a baggy shirt but her chest is getting bigger. She hates it. Ma said there was no point in getting a training bra because if she got big as fast as they did in Ma’s family then in a couple of months she’d need a proper one.
Katie looks down at her own slight frame. Not even the hint of anything other than flatness under her shirt. ‘That’s not fair. I’m months older than you. If you get your period before me as well, I’m going to be so annoyed.’
Charlotte wrinkled her nose. ‘Don’t be disgusting.’ She gets to her feet. She’s itching to do something. She’d taken half of one of her ma’s pills this morning but the haze is wearing off and she wants to rob some booze. She doesn’t want to think about boobs and periods and the things she’d pretended to have read in a book. She wants to run away with Katie and stay like they are forever.
The curse, that’s what Jean calls it.She’ll be getting the curse soon. You’d better make sure she knows what to use.
The curse. Getting the curse. It’s hanging over her, she can feel it. Of course she’ll get the curse first. She’s cursed already.
52
NOW
MARILYN
I bang hard on the door, the muggy heat fuelling my irritation. There’s probably a bell but I can’t be bothered to look. I don’t care what she said in the office, I’m damned well going to have it out with her now. Apologise? Penny can go swivel. I’ve been quietly raging all day about her smug little face, and I’m going to get it out of her about the money even if no one will believe me. I want to know forme.
No one answers and I bang again.
‘I know you’re in there, Julia!’ She doesn’t get off so easily. There are lights on, I can see them behind the awful net curtains – she must surely be renting – so someone’s home. The door opens as thunder rumbles overhead and the first drops of rain fall. She stares at me and neither of us speak.