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“I’m good,” I croak. I make to roll away, but he stops me with his arms.

“Don’t,” he whispers.

I look past the blue whirlpools of magic, willing me to meet his gaze. “I can’t do this.”

“Why not?”

Because I can’t.

Because I’m too fucked up to have a deep connection with someone.

I lift a shoulder in a shrug, biting my bottom lip to stop the tremble.

Because I’m terrified.

“Kali,” he whispers, stroking the side of my face. “Look at me.”

The sound of my name, not a nickname or a frustrated groan, melts my insides. I let out a shaky breath and force my gaze to meet his, my stomach flipping the minute I see his eyes.

“Whatever you’re feeling right now, it’s okay.” Anthony’s tone is a low hum of reassurance. “I’m sorry if I broke your rules. This doesn’t have to be anything other than what you want it to be.”

“Where did you come from?”

“From your wildest dreams.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Anthony grabs my wrist to stop me from playfully hitting him and rolls his naked body over mine. His hand drifts up near my cheek and a flash of red jumps out at me. “What happened to your hand?”

He grins. “You should see the other guy.”

“Bonetti-”

“Stop deflecting,” he orders, brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. Inside and out.”

“Anthony, don’t-”

“Take the compliments. Believe what I am saying. I know you’re not into relationships and I’m telling you I don’t care. I’m not a sappy guy and I’m not always great with my words, but you are a wonder, Kali.”

Something boils from the depths of my belly, reaching my eyes and mouth, and an unexpected sob escapes my lips. Anthony leans down and presses his lips to my forehead while tears stream down my face. He strokes the side of my face. He runs his hands through my hair. He lets my emotions pour out until I don’t have any tears left to give.

“Why aren’t you scared?” I whisper, hating the sound of vulnerability in my voice.

“Who said I’m not scared?” He gives me a small smile. “I’m shitting myself. But you’re worth it. I’d rather give it a go and have you break my heart than not try at all.”

“It’s not your heart I’m worried about.”

Anthony’s eyes flare with heat and something else I can’t recognise. Before he can say anything, I reach up and pull his lips to mine.

It feels different this time. The moving of our lips is gentle and slow. The moving of our bodies together is careful and drawn-out, the roughness from earlier nowhere to be found. Anthony’s hands roam my body, as if he’s memorising the shape of it. It’s only a matter of minutes before I’m desperate for him again.

He shifts on top of me, murmuring into my mouth, “Let me get a condom.”

“I don’t want one.”

Anthony stills, blinking down at me.

“I don’t want one if you don’t,” I clarify, nerves swirling in my gut. “I’m on birth control.”