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He hadn’t said a word when gathering up the resistant piping and shown me how, talking me through it gently.

Maybe it was later. Maybe sooner. Maybe a part of me always had but held back because of Lauren.

“I don’t know,” I confess at last.

She shakes her head with a dumbfounded expression darkening her features. “That is the one thing I asked you never to do.”

Overwhelmed, I glower at her. “I really don’t think you have a lot of leg to stand on, Lauren. You can’t act the victim right now.”

Her arms fold with the deliberate turn of her face in the direction of the cul-de-sac. Sue and Tyler Smithson are nowhere in sight. It is too late in the day to be feeding birds, I suppose.

“I didn’t ... I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” she bites out. “I didn’t do what I did because I secretly wanted him, and I just couldn’t stop myself any longer. I hated every second of it. What you did...”

I had set out to hurt her. That had been my plan. Unlike Bron where I wanted him out of Jefferson for good, out of my life forever, the only bridge I had to burn with her was Van.

But it wasn’t all out of vengeance and spite. I didn’t only sleep with Van to get back at Lauren. I’d wanted to be with him and Lachlan for so long that Lauren’s actions simply opened that door to do it without guilt.

“I didn’t sleep with Van to get back at you ... entirely,” I say softly, with all the honesty in my chest. “I’vewanted him for a long time. I just stopped fighting after what happened with you and Bron.”

Lauren’s jaw tightens. Her arms remain folded, but I can see the sharp anchors of her nails cutting gashes into the soft muscles of her upper arms.

“So, you just gave yourself permission to sleep with my dad?”

I wince at the acoustics of her accusation exploding through the soft afternoon in the middle of town. My gaze sweeps our surroundings, relieved when I find no one close enough to have overheard.

“I guess the same way you thought you could just make life choices for me,” I throw back, careful to keep my voice down. “I get Bron was a piece of shit. I know he was, but it was my call to make how to handle him.”

“Handle what?” she snaps back, at least attempting to match the volume of my voice. “He belittled you, used you, hurt you. He treated you like garbage. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you enjoyed being a doormat.”

“I didn’t stay because I was wildly in love with him, Lauren. I didn’t stay because I enjoyed the way he treated me. I stayed because...” I break off and glance at the thin stream of people going about their business. “Get in the car.”

She doesn’t argue when we both stalk to either side of the car and climb in. I wait until the door is properly shut behind us before turning to her the best I can without agitating my arm.

“I stayed because of Lachlan,” I blurt, fast, without thought. Tearing it out of my chest like ripping off a bandaid.

“Then why didn’t you sleep with him?” Lauren exclaims, hands jumping into the air and slapping down in her lap. “I have been wanting you to jump that man foryears!Why my dad?”

Heat fills my cheeks. Conversations about my sex life had always been a short discussion with the lack thereof. And I know I can trust Lauren, even now with everything going on between us. Still, I hesitate.

“I did,” I whisper so low even I’m not sure I actually said it.

Lauren’s jaw unhinges. Her mouth is as wide as her eyes as she stares at me from over the console.

“Shut your face,” she gasps at last. Amusement and a familiar, comfortable grin extends across her face. “Are you serious?”

Shifting uncomfortably, I grin a little and wrinkle my nose. “Yeah.”

“Oh my God!” She gives an ear shattering hoot and claps her hands in euphoric delight. “Yes! I love this for you. The way that man would watch you ... I wouldkillfor it. I don’t even find him attractive, but it made me all hot and bothered.”

I chuckle and rub an anxious hand over the soft fabric keeping my arm bent against my chest.

For a second, a heartbeat, a fraction it’s like we used to be. That crippling weight is lifted and we’re both smiling like idiots at each other and there’s laughter between us.

“I need all the details. Everything. I need detailed notes,” she squeals.

My face twists into a grimace. “That’s so weird.”

She shakes her head. “Listen, the way I’ve pictured this man fucking you ... I could write a book. It would be filthy and disgusting, and so fucking hot.”