Page 87
The words were exactly what I’d wanted to hear, so why was I crying harder now? “Why do you look so upset about it?”
“I didn’t want to love you,” he said. “But I do. And you know why I can’t be open about it. But when it’s just the two of us...it’s perfect.”
I looked away from him. I was tired of the secrets. But was I willing to give him up?
“Come on,” Ryde said. “Let’s get out of here.”
He helped me up and walked with me to his car. I got in, resting my arm on the center console. As he drove away from the school, our pinkies touched. It wasn’t much—no one could see—but it was enough. For now.
47
Birdie
Confession: I’m keeping a secret from Cohen.
I thought all day about how to tell Cohen what I’d discovered without betraying Ollie and Ryde’s privacy.
I decided to let it rest until Friday. Cohen had asked that I come over after the game, no matter how late it was. A tingle of excitement worked its way through me at the thought of spending an entire weekend with Cohen, knowing we’d likely be in his apartment the whole time as to protect our privacy.
After I finished selling tickets at the game, I got in my car and drove to his apartment. There was an overnight bag in my car, but I left it there so I wouldn’t seem too presumptuous. I’d be just as happy to have an hour with Cohen as I would to have a weekend.
When I reached his door, I heard the now familiar sound of indie music and smiled to myself. So much had changed since I first saw his apartment. I liked it as much as I had then, but I liked the man who lived here so much more.
Seconds after I rang the doorbell, he appeared at the door holding a bottle of wine and two glasses. “Have you ever had Cupcake wine?” he asked as I stepped inside.
I grinned. This had to be fate. “Mara and I drink it all the time.”
“I should have known.” He chuckled, setting the glasses on his island countertop. “It’s not very expensive, but it’s so good. One of my bartenders turned me on to it.”
“Sounds like they need a raise,” I said, taking the glass from him
“Right?” he said. “I’m kind of embarrassed to admit I drink it.”
“Look at that. Misogyny working against men?”
With a laugh, he said, “True. I should be drinking whiskey neat, right?”
“Exactly.” I took another sip.
He reached out a fingertip and adjusted a curl on my shoulder. “If you haven’t noticed, I like sweet things.”
My cheeks warmed, and I smiled up at him. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He stepped back and began walking to his fridge. “Are you hungry? I have some leftovers from supper, but I could order in too.”
“Can you stop being so nice?”
He chuckled. “I think it’s a habit from being a parent. Like even if you can’t fix a broken heart, at least you can make sure they have good food.”
My heart warmed. “Speaking of Ollie...” I glanced to his couch. “Can we sit down?”
A look of concern crossed his features. “Sure. What’s going on?”
I went to the couch with my wine glass and sat with my legs tucked under me. “I figured out why Ollie has been upset.”
Cohen’s eyes widened, and he leaned forward as if to hear me better. “What is it?”
“He’s been seeing a boy at school who, I think, is even more private about his sexuality than Ollie is.”
“I didn’t want to love you,” he said. “But I do. And you know why I can’t be open about it. But when it’s just the two of us...it’s perfect.”
I looked away from him. I was tired of the secrets. But was I willing to give him up?
“Come on,” Ryde said. “Let’s get out of here.”
He helped me up and walked with me to his car. I got in, resting my arm on the center console. As he drove away from the school, our pinkies touched. It wasn’t much—no one could see—but it was enough. For now.
47
Birdie
Confession: I’m keeping a secret from Cohen.
I thought all day about how to tell Cohen what I’d discovered without betraying Ollie and Ryde’s privacy.
I decided to let it rest until Friday. Cohen had asked that I come over after the game, no matter how late it was. A tingle of excitement worked its way through me at the thought of spending an entire weekend with Cohen, knowing we’d likely be in his apartment the whole time as to protect our privacy.
After I finished selling tickets at the game, I got in my car and drove to his apartment. There was an overnight bag in my car, but I left it there so I wouldn’t seem too presumptuous. I’d be just as happy to have an hour with Cohen as I would to have a weekend.
When I reached his door, I heard the now familiar sound of indie music and smiled to myself. So much had changed since I first saw his apartment. I liked it as much as I had then, but I liked the man who lived here so much more.
Seconds after I rang the doorbell, he appeared at the door holding a bottle of wine and two glasses. “Have you ever had Cupcake wine?” he asked as I stepped inside.
I grinned. This had to be fate. “Mara and I drink it all the time.”
“I should have known.” He chuckled, setting the glasses on his island countertop. “It’s not very expensive, but it’s so good. One of my bartenders turned me on to it.”
“Sounds like they need a raise,” I said, taking the glass from him
“Right?” he said. “I’m kind of embarrassed to admit I drink it.”
“Look at that. Misogyny working against men?”
With a laugh, he said, “True. I should be drinking whiskey neat, right?”
“Exactly.” I took another sip.
He reached out a fingertip and adjusted a curl on my shoulder. “If you haven’t noticed, I like sweet things.”
My cheeks warmed, and I smiled up at him. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He stepped back and began walking to his fridge. “Are you hungry? I have some leftovers from supper, but I could order in too.”
“Can you stop being so nice?”
He chuckled. “I think it’s a habit from being a parent. Like even if you can’t fix a broken heart, at least you can make sure they have good food.”
My heart warmed. “Speaking of Ollie...” I glanced to his couch. “Can we sit down?”
A look of concern crossed his features. “Sure. What’s going on?”
I went to the couch with my wine glass and sat with my legs tucked under me. “I figured out why Ollie has been upset.”
Cohen’s eyes widened, and he leaned forward as if to hear me better. “What is it?”
“He’s been seeing a boy at school who, I think, is even more private about his sexuality than Ollie is.”
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