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I brushed her lips with mine. “I know what you meant, my love.” I held her for a few more minutes. “Are you certain you want to have this conversation tonight?”
El looked up at me. “If we don’t, I doubt I’ll sleep.”
“Very well.”
“Shall I get us both a drink?” she asked.
“Go ahead if you’d like. This won’t take long.”
She remained seated.
“Eleven years ago, I participated in a mission to liberate a group of people who were imprisoned as enemies of the state of a foreign country. That mission, as most are, was divided into a series of operations. Each op, as they’re called, was successful until we reached the final step and went under fire from opposing forces. Six operatives were killed in the attack, as were the five people we were tasked with liberating. There were only two survivors.”
“Go on.”
“Prior to the deployment of the mission, the commander of the unit—the man who held the position I do now—had reason to believe we had a mole. While every precaution was taken that day, somehow, enemy forces discovered us just as we were about to be evacuated. An order was issued to escalate the evacuation into an immediate rescue mission. That never happened. Instead, the op went on as initially planned. The transport arrived at the original targeted time.”
“How was Niven involved in this?” Eliza asked.
“He was issued the order to deploy immediately.”
“And he did not?”
I shook my head.
“Do you believe he was the mole?” El asked.
I scrubbed my face with my hand. “For a long time, I did.”
Her eyes opened wide. “You don’t any longer?”
“I have doubts.”
“Based on?”
I had to tread carefully and think through every word I was about to say. The easy answer was that Saint’s threats didn’t make any sense. If I were to divulge how that alone drove my current skepticism, I’d also have to disclose her cousin’s threat. I couldn’t do that. Not because I wished to protect him. It was to protect her.
Her eyes bored into mine. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“There’s a lot I cannot tell you, El.”
“About Niven?”
I nodded solemnly. “Yes, but there is much else I cannot divulge.”
“I understand.” She closed her eyes and rested her head on my shoulder. “There’s something I don’t, though.”
“Go on.”
“Niven said you want to kill him.”
“There are times I’ve thought about it.”
“He threatened to kill you the night we were in the hospital parking lot. You said I misunderstood. Why?”
“Everything I say and do is with the best of intentions where you’re concerned. I will not pit you against anyone, least of all someone so important to you.”
She raised her head to look at me. “He’s convinced you’re going to devastate me.”