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“And very selfish. I’ll be able to spend a few more minutes with you tonight.”
“Do you fancy curry or bangers and mash?” she asked, peering into the bag. “Both will easily reheat, unlike fish and chips. That would be dreadful.” She grimaced.
“If you’re offering to share, I’d be most appreciative. I regretted leaving the pub without having dinner.”
When she stood, I did too.
“Thank you for looking out for me, Levi.”
What would she say if I told her how literal her statement was? That I’d been watching the pub? Would she still let me walk her home?
Worse, what if I told her I wanted her beloved cousin dead? Or that I killed people as part of my job?
Could I have something more than meaningless sex with this woman? A relationship between us would be based on lies of omission at least.
What in the bloody hell did I think I was doing? When I chose to join Unit 23—even MI6—I’d thought a long time about what I was giving up. I hadn’t made the decision lightly.
It was Edgar “Jekyll” Hyde who’d urged me to think it through. At the time, I was angry. After all, it was the decision he’d made.
Like me, he was single when he signed up. Young and fancy-free, as they say, with no thoughts about what the future might hold. He certainly hadn’t anticipated meeting a widow with a daughter.
“I sure as hell never dreamed I’d fall in love. But I did. With both of them. I married my wife and adopted her daughter within a year of meeting them.” He’d pulled out his wallet and showed me a photo of the two. “It’s the best decision I ever made in my life, Typhon. Being an intelligence agent now feels like the worst.”
I hadn’t heeded his advice that day, nor did I reconsider it on the day I held him in my arms and watched him breathe his last breath right after he made me promise to take care of his wife and daughter and I’d vowed I would.
11
ELIZA
Leviticus walked me home, but his demeanor changed the closer we got to my flat. He’d gone quiet and cold, not even trying to hold my hand after taking the bag and carrying it with his opposite arm. When our fingers brushed, intentionally on my part, he widened the distance between us.
I couldn’t help but feel foolish nor could I stop wondering what I’d done wrong.
When we reached my building after walking in silence for a few blocks, I was about to put my card in the after-hours reader when I saw one of the doormen approach.
“Thanks so much,” I said, holding my hand out for the takeaway bag. When he didn’t seem bothered that I wasn’t inviting him in, I squared my shoulders. “Good night, Leviticus.”
He nodded once. “Goodbye, Eliza.”
Of course my disappointment was profound. However, I’d been in more than one toxic relationship where I was jerked back and forth, never knowing how my boyfriend might behave from one day to the next. After the second, I’d vowed never to get involved with someone like that again. The hard part was that it sometimes took a while before men like that showed their true colors. With Leviticus, it had been mere minutes. I should be thankful I’d dodged a probable bullet.
Instead, I ached. My mystery-man fantasies had kept me company in my loneliness. Especially when I crawled into bed each night.
Once inside my flat, I walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to put my food away, but thought better of it and tossed it in with the rubbish.
I’d ask Niven how Harper was, but it would be another hour at least before he got home.
After toeing off my boots, I lay on the bed without removing another stitch of clothes, rolled to my side, and cried. Not over Leviticus, but the disappointment that someone was interested in me, enthusiastic to spend time with me, but changed their mind in such a short amount of time devastated me. What was it about me that no one wanted?
My mobile ringing woke me. I reached into my pocket to answer.
“Harper’s in hospital,” Niven said before I even said hello.
“Do you want me to come?” I offered.
“Could you?” he asked.
“Of course.”