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She takes it a step further and pushes up on her toes and pressesher lips to mine. I’m so surprised by her boldness that I turn rigid under her touch. But I recover quickly and take control of the kiss she initiated. She melts into me when I part her lips with my tongue and finally get the taste I’ve been hungry for. My entire body shutters from this one touch.

I slowly back her up against a tree behind us. As soon as I press her against it, she rolls her hips into mine. I’m already hard for her, but this small action nearly causes me to explode in my jeans from want and need.

“Jess,” I manage through our locked lips. “You’re in control. Tell me what you want.”

“Touch me.” The words come out breathy and desperate. “Please. I haven’t been touched in so long.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I slip my hand down her front and unbutton her jeans. “Whatever you need. I’m yours to use.”

She moans against my mouth and when my hand slips inside her panties she kisses me harder. It’s like she can’t get me close enough and every molecule of air between us is too much.

My finger slips easily inside her and I nearly die from the feel of her. She’s wet, warm, and tight as hell. “My God, Jess. You’re soaked for me.”

“Please,” she moans and lifts her leg up around my hip, opening her up to me. I fuck her with my fingers while rubbing her clit with my thumb. I barely get started before her body explodes with pleasure and she’s screaming a string of profanity.

It’s hot, intense, and over way too fucking quick. It’s been years since I touched Jessica like this, and I want it to last. She may be letting me touch her now, but I don’t know if or when I’ll get another chance like this.

I really want to replace my fingers with my dick, but even if she begs me for it, I don’t think that’s what she really needs. If she fucks me right now, I’m afraid she’ll regret it later. So, I remove my hands from her pants and refasten her jeans.

When I look into her eyes, they’re filled with tears. Her desire for me is gone, and all her hurt and pain has resurfaced. “Jess, please don’t cry.”

My acknowledgment of her pain is enough to push her over the edge and her tears break free. “I shouldn’t have let you do that.”

She pushes me back and slips out from between me and the tree. She heads back toward the blanket and picnic lunch I packed. Once again, I’m watching Jessica walk away from me.

CHAPTER 15

JESSICA

Every emotion known to man is currently coursing through my veins. So much so, I’m in a state of emotional overload and I can’t stop these damn tears from running down my face.

I’m no longer the powerhouse, badass CEO that I’ve gotten used to being. Matthew has turned me into a sniffling hot mess, and I’m about to crumble into the pit of despair.

I make it back to the blanket where we ate lunch and toss my head back to the sky. The light sprinkle of rain is picking up, and it's starting to soak into my shirt.

I don’t care. Right now all I can think about is how good it felt for him to touch me again. It had been so long since I’d been touched by him that I almost came the second his finger brushed across my clit. I want more of him—all of him. My body aches for it.

I feel him behind me before his hand rests on my back. He’s so close that I can feel his breath on my neck. “Jess, can we talk about what just happened?”

I drop my head into my hands and groan before I spin around and face him. “Like I said, I shouldn’t have let you do that.”

He steps closer and slips his arm around my waist. I involuntarily sink into him. I feel so betrayed by my body. No matter how many times I tell myself to resist him, it doesn’t happen. My body is begging for more of his touch and does what it wants.

“I disagree.” He leans in close to my ear and kisses my neck. “I think that was exactly what you needed.”

“It doesn’t matter what I needed.” My voice is so weak, giving my words no weight, but I say them anyway. “We can’t do that again.”

“You can try to fight our connection all you want, but it doesn’t change a thing. Our bodies, hearts, and souls will always be one.”

Despite the truth behind his words, they still bring me so much pain. I squeeze my eyes closed and drop my head to his chest. His hand slowly runs up my back until he’s cupping my neck. It feels so damn good to be in his arms again, but also so fucking painful. I fight back my tears and swallow hard before I look up at him. His own eyes are glassy and for the first time since coming home, I can see this is equally as hard for him as it is for me. But that doesn’t stop me from asking the one thing I need him to answer.

“If that’s true, then why did you marry her?” My voice cracks, but I get it out despite my difficulties.

His hand on my neck stiffens, and he looks away from my gaze. “I didn’t have a choice. She was pregnant.”

I’d suspected that was the case ever since I found out his wife died in childbirth, but hearing him confirm it makes it hurt even worse than it did at the time I’d found out he was married.

I wiggle out of his embrace. I can’t be this close to him while we have this conversation. “So you knocked up some girl and forgot all about me. Is that how it was?”