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His absence touched every part of my life. It was in the moments when I needed guidance, a steady hand to hold, that I felt his absence the most. With my mother being more concerned with herself than with me or Izzy, the milestones that should have been celebrated together became solitary victories, tinged with a bittersweet ache.
My father’s absence is part of the reason why I resist falling in love. It left me with a lingering fear of abandonment, a constant worry that those I care about will also choose to leave. I’ll never be hurt that way again.
But amidst the pain, there is also strength. With his leaving I learned to be resilient and rely on myself. I became independent and self-sufficient. The one everyone turns to in times of need.
Yet I would give everything to have my father with me.
But his absence doesn’t define me. It is a part of my story, but it does not dictate my life. I am more than the void he left behind. I am everything that’s happened since.
Carter and I continue to banter throughout breakfast, the conversation flowing effortlessly between us.
“Can I ask about why you have her? Your sister, I mean,” Carter looks at me and I take a breath. Looks like the easy, fun conversation is over. He wants to know the heavy stuff.
"It’s okay to ask. The story isn’t fancy. Our mom decided to move to Nevada with her new husband and Izzy wanted to finish out high school here. So she lives with me."
Carter's expression softens, his eyes filling with empathy.
"That can't be easy to deal with, raising a teenager on your own. How old is Izzy?"
I sigh as my gaze shifts to the window.
"She's seventeen. It's not easy trying to balance work and take care of her. But we manage well enough. We have our own little apartment, and I do everything I can to make sure she's happy. College is another story altogether. I don’t even want to think about how I’ll pay for it."
“You're doing an incredible job, Addy. I admire your strength and dedication. There aren’t many people who would take on their sibling at your age."
I smile.
"Thank you, Carter. I appreciate you saying that.”
The conversation is interrupted by the waitress bringing our food. We both dig into our food, and I’m pleasantly surprised by how tasty it is.
After we finish our breakfast, the waitress drops off the bill and Carter picks it up. I pull out my wallet and grab some bills.
“Whoa, whoa. This is my treat,’ Carter says.
“I can pay for my portion.”
"I’m sure you can. Consider it a thank you for patching me up yesterday.” He slips the card in the bill folder and holds it up for the waitress.
Carter’s phone buzzes in his pocket.
“Yeah?” Carter answers. He looks at his nails as the person on the other side of the call speaks. “Tell him that he can only come if he doesn’t cheat. I’ll be watching.”
He grins as he hangs up the phone.
“Cheat?” I ask.
Carter laughs.
“Yeah. Victor, the guy who did this to me,” Carter points to his lip. “Wants to join tonight’s game.”
“He was cheating?” It’s surprising that Court would allow a cheater to participate in games at his club. Carter shrugs.
“That may have just been said to get under his skin.”
I roll my eyes but can’t stop the smiling from spreading across my face.
Carter is something else entirely.