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“Technically, I said I don’t know if I want to go to college.” Izzy shrugs before looking back up at Addy. Addy blinks.
“That’s funny. I don’t remember giving you a choice about attending college.”
Anger fills both of their faces. Izzy stands up and crosses her arms as she addresses her sister.
“Here’s something funnier: it’s not your choice if I go or not. I’ll be 18 by the time I graduate. You can’t force me to do something I don’t want to do.”
“But you used to want to. What the hell happened? One day you’re a kid with huge dreams and the next you just abandon them?” Addy stands up and focuses all of her anger on Izzy.
“I’m not abandoning anything!” Izzy’s voice raises. “It’s just a change of plans. You didn’t go to college. How can you try to force me to go?”
Addy laughs bitterly before shaking her head.
“You’re right. Ididn’tgo to college. And look at how well that’s worked out for me. I’m working as a tournament hostess in a club instead of doing what Iactuallywanted to do. We live in a shitty apartment that has mold and bad water pressure. Is this the kind of life you want to live? This is the future you want for yourself?”
“It’s not that bad!” Izzy shouts. “We’re happy and we have each other. We always have enough food and the things we really need.”
Addy groans with frustration before taking Izzy by the shoulders and shaking her lightly.
“Wake up, Iz. We’re on food stamps. I only allow us to take five minute showers because otherwise we can’t afford the water bill. We have to do our laundry at the laundromat and our car is always breaking down. We have each other, yes. But we could be so much happier, Izzy.Youcould be so much happier. College is the way that you can do that. Without a degree you’ll just be part-time at the equestrian center making $10 an hour. That’s not a life. You won’t even be able to support yourself on that.”
“It’s $12 an hour, and yeah, those things suck! But they’re not forever. I don’t want to go to school for equestrian science when I can start working at the center right away–”
“You can work at the center while you go to college!”
“Oh, my God, I’m so sick of school! I don’t need college. I’ll work my way up the ranks like Mrs. Martin did and become the center director.”
“Mrs. Martin’s husband is loaded! He’s a freaking hedge fund manager with all kinds of money to spend. Mrs. Martin didn’t need a degree to do anything with that kind of money at her disposal.”
“Nate will be rich one day and I won’t have to worry about it, either. He’ll take care of me!” Izzy shouts. Addy laughs out loud.
“God, get a grip. You’re not going to stay with him forever. He’s moving to California. He’ll end up meeting someone and you’ll be here, working at the equestrian center waiting for another man to save you.”
Izzy gasps before a tear slips down her cheek.
“I hate you!” she screams before turning and running to her room.
“That’s right! Run off to your room like the child you are!” Addy shouts down the hall as Izzy’s door slams. I look around, unsure of what to say to Addy at this moment.
Her chest is heaving with anger, her breathing ragged from the shouting. When she turns around her face is filled with tears. I hold my arms out and she collapses into them, wiping the wetness from her face. I walk over to the couch and we sit down, her head on my shoulder.
“I just want what’s best for her,” Addy whispers. “Why can’t she see that?”
I shrug, staring at the wall in front of me. There’s a brown stain on the roof- remnants of some sort of water damage from the apartment upstairs.
We stay like this for a long time, her head on my shoulder and us staring at the wall. I don’t know the words to say to comfort her. My family’s fights were never about these sorts of things. This is something about which I have no advice to give. After what feels like a lifetime Addy sits up straight.
I turn to look at her.
“You know, I understand you want Izzy to do what’s going to give her the best life. But Izzy will be an adult, and she’s going to be the one making those decisions. Of course you should offer guidance, but at the end of the day, it’s her choice what she does with her life.”
Addy stares at me before nodding.
“I know. I know it is. It’s just hard. I don’t want to see her making the same mistakes that I did. She has the opportunity to do so much better. Nate is a nice kid but I don’t want Izzy to base her future around someone who might not be there in the long run.”
I nod.
“I understand that. But to Izzy it probably seems like you’re telling her what to do with her life.”