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They were not good. Not in the least.
What the fuck?
Had she allowed her ill-advised crush to go too far?
He had kissed her. She could remember mentally holding herself back, knowing she couldn’t be the one to move first because her crush was bound to over-ride her good sense.
What did she say? Should she say anything?
Jessica wished she could open the door and take a walk. Some space could be ideal. A little breathing room so she could organize her thoughts and sort through her feelings. Instead, she was trapped in this box on wheels hurtling down the road.
She felt at the door until her fingers found the window button. She jabbed it and let the brisk, morning breeze slap her in the face. The air was heavy with morning dew and the scent of newly cut grass stirred up more pleasant memories.
Only, she’d smelled grass yesterday as well.
Jessica swallowed, but her throat was too tense.
“Stop the car,” she blurted out.
“What? Here?”
“Just stop the damn car.”
He pulled onto the narrow shoulder. The moment the Jeep was somewhat stopped, she threw open the passenger door and got out, sucking down oxygen. She staggered forward and into the grass. The ground sloped away from her to cultivated fields already sprouting with new crops.
She closed her eyes and breathed deep while her jumbled thoughts stopped moving.
Jessica often felt like her thoughts were all marbles and sometimes they rolled and shifted in her head, making it hard to keep track of them. Clearly, she’d taken the old saying about losing her marbles seriously as a kid.
Holy shit.
What was she supposed to say to all of that?
“Jess? Jessica?”
Her spine stiffened automatically, and she peered at Samuel out of the corner of her eye.
He stood at the front of the jeep wearing the basketball shorts and hoodie they’d bought last night. He was such a formal guy. The sport wear really didn’t fit his personality. Robin had spilled the beans from the other ladies that Samuel around the office was stylish and impeccably dressed. That fit his personality so much better than this, and yet a part of her liked this fish-out-of-water side of him.
Damn it. What was wrong with her? After all that she was still just a horny bitch.
“Jess, what’s wrong? Did I say something?”
“You said a lot of things!”
She turned and walked away from him, past the Jeep.
Yeah, things had been awkward this morning, but what morning after wasn’t a little weird? She’d never realized this was where his head was.
“I’m sorry,” he said, sounding far closer than before.
She spun around. He was so close her left hand smacked his arm. She quickly held up her hands, keeping him at arm’s length.
For once, his face wasn’t a smooth, beautiful mask. His eyes were wide and his mouth moved.
“What I’m hearing in all of this is that you did not want to sleep with me and that I practically—God.” She pressed her hand to her stomach and bent forward. Just thinking about it was going to make her sick.
“That’s not what I meant.”