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“Why were you so set on not liking me when we first met?” It was the question she’d wanted to ask for ages.
He’d known all about her, but he was a mystery. The only thing she’d been told before transferring to the recovery center was that he’d been injured trying to stop Robin from getting kidnapped along with her. Jessica had been ready to throw herself at his feet in gratitude. But he’d been so cold and dismissive. It had set the tone for how they interacted until now.
He looked up at her and his fingers stilled. “I liked you just fine.”
She snorted before she could stop herself. “You did not. I understand clashing over the investigation. I know I’ve stepped on your toes. But I couldn’t get a halfway pleasant word out of you when we first met.”
He leaned toward her, bracing his other hand on the edge of the bed, putting him squarely between her thighs. “Maybe I wasn’t on my best behavior? That wasn’t the impression I was trying to make. You’re just so frustrating sometimes.”
“Me?”
“Yes. You have no regard for your own safety. None whatsoever. You’re probably the biggest danger to yourself.”
Her jaw dropped, and she stared at him.
Of all the things he could have said, that was why he’d been so grumpy in the beginning? Okay, he was still a rain cloud personified most of the time, but even storms made rainbows. It wasn’t all bad. In a way, that sentiment was kind of sweet. In a backhanded way.
“You talk about me like I have no brain at all,” she muttered.
“You’re brilliant. But sometimes smart people can be really…” He sighed and shook his head. “You’re the last person I’d trust with your safety. You take too many risks, Jess.”
How many times had he expressed that one sentiment to her?
Why did he care, anyway?
She couldn’t bring herself to ask that question. She only wanted one answer, and she highly doubted it was what she’d get. It was better to not ask and instead focus on the warmth seeping into her ankle from his hand and the way his hip pressed against her leg, how he smelled so damn good despite being doused by rain and mud, the way her body felt alive when he looked at her. When she looked at him, she forgot about everything that had happened.
Men had always been a past-time for her. They were good for some fun, but once they started expecting her to dress for occasions and make them look good, she was gone. Because all too soon she’d get the request to talk less, to not bring up her work or charity, to simply look pretty on his arm. She would never diminish her light for the sake of propping up a man’s ego. Because once his ego got to be big enough, that type of guy began doing whatever necessary to tear her down. It was never a man supporting her supporting him. Never a partnership.
Samuel didn’t need or want her to support him. He wanted her to run alongside him. Literally. And he wanted to protect her.
That came as a shock.
It probably shouldn’t after all this time and their arguments. She’d been stuck on those individual issues. What he thought she shouldn’t do. But in all this time she’d never comprehended the real meaning behind his complaints against her.
Her safety.
Had anyone besides Robin ever cared about her this much? How was she supposed to know all this time that’s what he meant when he’d barely say anything to her?
“Are you okay?” Samuel asked. “No witty come back? Where’s the sarcasm?”
She swallowed. “It seems rude to be sarcastic to someone who just confessed to caring about me.”
His gaze seemed to shutter and though his expression didn’t change, he seemed closed off now. “When did I say I gave a fuck?”
She chuckled and wagged a finger at him. “You can’t walk that back. You’d only get this grumpy about me taking risks if you cared. Does this make us friends?”
And damn if she didn’t want that to be right. This whole time she’d thought they were too dissimilar. There was no way he’d be interested in her. She could accept that. This crush of hers would be squashed in time.
Then again, the conflict could also come down to his job. While they both ultimately wanted the same thing, they had different goals. His was safety. Hers was justice. Those two things didn’t always align.
He blew out a breath and shook his head before dropping his gaze back to her foot. “Looks like you probably just strained it. Let’s get you some painkillers and try to elevate it tonight, okay?”
Her insides wobbled. Was he really going to ignore her like this? It was just like him.
She gripped the comforter on either side of her hips as the silence stretched on with neither of them moving.
“I don’t know if we can be friends,” he said.