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“I thought it was tomorrow,” I said with a smile.

He laughed, but he leaned over, opened a drawer, and prepared protection.

He came at me again and we made love and clung to each other just like the two drifting lost souls we were, finding safety only in our lovemaking, in the height of excitement we gave each other. Every cry of ecstasy, every explosion inside us reassured us we had a reason to be.

The darkness we lived in fell away like an old, rotted curtain and left us standing in the light, holding hands, waiting for that tomorrow full of promises to drown our disappointments.

Afterward, we fell asleep beside each other, his arm under my breasts, his face turned to me so that his breath warmed my neck.

I was unaware of how much time had spilled, but like milk, I didn’t cry over it.

Of course, I was about to learn that I should have.

5

Brothers and Sisters

“It’s two in the morning!” Del announced.

He had woken and turned on a lamp. The light blinded me for a few moments.

“What?”

“We fell asleep. I’m sorry. It’s two in the morning. You’re probably going to be in big trouble.”

“I’m used to it,” I said, sitting up and grinding the grogginess out of my eyes with balled fists. I looked about the room, trying to gather my wits. Then I smiled at him. “Hi,” I said.

He laughed.

“You’re crazy. C’mon. Get up and get dressed before the cavalry arrives.”

“Don’t worry about it. They would never do that. They couldn’t stand the embarrassment of any bad publicity,” I told him, but started to dress.

“You haven’t done anything like this before, have you? I mean, stay over a boy’s house without their knowing?”

“No, I didn’t stay, but I went to a party I shouldn’t have gone to when I was in the ninth grade. It was a party for seniors and I got drunk. They found out I was with a senior boy that night, too.”

“What happened?”

“I made love or let him. It was my first time, so I wasn’t really in any sort of control. I think I was just trying to shock my mother. I even told her what I had done.”

“You told her?”

I slipped my blouse over my head and pulled it down.

“Well, I came to her and I told her I thought I might be pregnant. She never paid more attention to me than she did those weeks. Almost every morning she was there to see if I had gotten my period.”

“What happened?”

“She almost had a nervous breakdown, and she had me swear and promise that I would not tell my father anything. In the end she set up a secret appointment for me with her doctor and I had to confess I had gotten my period.”

“You mean you had and you hadn’t told her?”

“Like I said, as long as she was concerned, she was paying attention to me. She was so relieved when I told her. She didn’t even care how I had been playing with her.”

Del shook his head in disbelief.

“Most of the girls I have known would have done everything they could to keep such a thing from their mothers. They certainly wouldn’t brag about being with an older boy and making love when they were only in the ninth grade.”