Page 66

“Thanks.”

I’d been subjected to an exam. Not just for injuries, but for evidence, to confirm my side of the story. They checked for bruises, tested my blood alcohol level. They asked if I was sexually assaulted. I said no. What I did with Miller and Knox may have straddled the line of consent, but I accept my part. I wanted it. I wanted them and I couldn’t pretend differently.

After a long week of raw exposure, lying under the harsh blue light and having nurses and detectives examine my body felt intimately worse.

I peer into the bag, seeing a few items from my—Theo’s—dorm room. Grayson is quiet, but I sense the questions he wants to ask. Too bad for him. I’m asking first.

“How long did you know?” I blurt. “About Miller?”

He sits in the mint green chair in the corner. “I’d suspected for a while that something was going on. Miller isn’t especially altruistic. When it became obvious through the video feed that he was helping you through the tasks, I knew he had to be getting something in return. I confronted him that day you saw us together on campus, but he didn’t admit anything.” He picks at the frayed cuff of his shirt. “I didn’t know for sure until he sent me the message tonight.”

“Did you see what happened in the parlor?”

The tips of his ears turn red. “I think I have a pretty good idea. I saw them get out the paddle and then you were alone with Knox—at least until the video went black.” Only because the shirt fell over the pin’s camera. “I know the history of using that paddle on pledges and we tripled our efforts to find you. It gave me the evidence I needed to get the police involved, and they were able to track down the farm through property records. Miller’s father is good, but his fingerprints were all over the purchase of that property. Unfortunately, we just got there too late.” His expression is one of disappointment and frustration. “By the time we raided the farm, you were gone. The other goa—recruits—were clueless. When I got the video of you alone in the dark, I was terrified for you.” He tents his fingers together and stares at them. “I knew they were bad, Reagan. I just had no idea they would go to that level. Thank god Miller was able to send me the geo-tag with your location.”

I think about it all, how angry Royer had been and how if they hadn’t shown up—honestly, if Miller hadn’t come back for me, what could have happened. Royer didn’t just want to hurt me, he wanted me dead. I shiver and wrap my arms around my waist.

“Can I ask you a few questions?” Grayson asks. I nod, knowing I owe him a few truths. “Why did you go along with Miller?”

I shrug. “He caught me my first night out. He didn’t give me much choice, and…”

His eyebrow raises. “And?”

The blush starts at the back of my neck, spreading across the rest of my skin. “It’s possible that I may have liked it—being with him.” And Knox, I think, but don’t add. “By the end, we were both getting something out of it.”

He nods, his expression carefully arranged into something I can’t read. I’m just glad that if it’s judgement, I can’t see it.

“That last time we met...” He looks at me, a bit shier than before. “We kissed. Was that just part of this? Just more pretend?”

I shake my head. “It was a nice kiss. I needed it.”

“But not the way you need someone like Miller.”

“I don’t know what I want, Grayson, other than a shower and a cheeseburger.”

“Fair enough,” he admits.

“What’s going to happen to them?” I ask.

“The charter has been revoked, and the fraternity has twenty-four hours to vacate the property. Royer has been charged with kidnapping, hazing, attempted sexual assault and a slew of other charges involving the fraternity.” His jaw tics. “You aren’t the only one he tortured this week.”

I shift, tugging at my hospital gown. “And Miller? Knox? The others?”

“We have video and other evidence of Rat’s participation. Andrea and Gamma Epsilon are being investigated now for their involvement. Since they were already on probation, it’s likely they will lose their charter, too.” He leans back. “As far as Knox and Miller, we’re going to need your report to determine that. You’ve admitted some of this was consensual. You walked into that building on your own, negotiated with Miller and,” he swallows, eyes shifting away, “participated in a sexual relationship with him. I understand there was a power difference here and the police are willing to listen, but you’ll have to testify and try to prove the difference.”

My skin grows sticky and warm thinking about it—about them. It’s a decision I’m not ready to make now—if I ever will. I slide off the bed and dump the clothing out of the bag. Grayson takes the hint and stands. “I can stick around and give you a ride if you want.”

“Thanks,” I say, “but I already called someone.”

Janelle had been the first person I reached out to and as far as I know, she’s down the hall giving her own report about what happened at the party to the police. Another nail in the Zeta Sig coffin.

“Sure.” He doesn’t move. “I really am sorry this went so far, Reagan.”

“Me too, Gray, but it’s not your fault.” I give him a tight smile. “We did what we set out to do. We brought Royer and Andrea down, although unfortunately, the houses weren’t salvageable.”

“Which means you won’t ever get to be a GE, like you’d hoped.”

“I’m not that girl anymore,” I confess. “That whole world has lost its appeal.”