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But she waited silently. He appreciated her patience. And he would make this effort. Always.
He cleared his throat. ‘I was here over the weekend. Came late on Saturday night...’ He’d run away and drowned his sorrows. It hadn’t worked. ‘That’s not what I came here to tell you though.’
‘No?’
‘You’re a loyal person, Skylar. You put other people first all the time. Their needs. You should dare to be free, Skylar. Dare to do whatever you want.’
She lost a little colour. ‘You want me to be happy.’
‘Yes.’
‘You want me to do whatIwant.’
‘Yes. Exactly.’ His heart pounded. ‘I want the best for you.’
She stared at him. ‘Why?’
He was actually trembling inside. This beautiful woman who he’d wanted for so long, the woman he’d finally truly got to know. The woman he’d completely fallen for. Was standing in front of him and about to leave.
‘You were right,’ he coughed. ‘I don’t just hide hurt, Skylar. I hide all my feelings. And that’s not fair of me.’
‘Okay.’
He twisted up inside. ‘That’s just it. I’m not okay.’
Skylar could hold herself together for only so long. She didn’t want to interrupt him—didn’t want him to ever stop talking in that gentle way—but at the same time she couldn’t stand to see him. He was heartbreakingly gorgeous.
‘I’m not okay,’ he whispered again. ‘Not without you.’
The echo of her pulse in her eardrums was deafening. She willed him to say more. Or to move—to step forward and pull her into his arms. She would take that. She would take anything.
But he suddenly covered his face with his hands. ‘I’m so scared of having you and losing you. I want you so much. In my life. Always. But I don’t want to—’ He broke off and looked skywards and swore. ‘I’m screwing this up, Skylar.’
‘Why are you here?’
He drew in a harsh breath. ‘I don’t want to confuse you. I don’t want to stand in your way. I don’t want to hold you back from anything, ever. I don’t want to say this and have it have any sway over your decisions because that’s what you do for the people in your life... But also, I think I have to say this, Skylar.’
So many things he didn’t want if he... ‘Say what?’
His hands dropped. ‘I love you.’
‘What?’ She stared at him, not wanting to move or breathe. She just wanted a replay of what he’d just said. Had he said—
‘I ended our agreement after Bermuda because I was uncomfortable. I know we strike sparks when we get within ten feet of each other, but I need you to know that this became so much more than that for me. More than some fun game. More than unfinished business from a lifetime ago.’
‘How much more?’
‘Everything more.’ He remained frozen, so far away. ‘That’s what I meant by “I love you.” Like completely, utterly, totally, I am in love with you.’
She had to put her hand on the back of the park bench for balance. ‘You what?’
‘It’s you, it’s always been you.’
‘But—’
‘I know there’ve been other women.’ He looked awkward. ‘And I know it sounds bad, but none of them meant anything much.’
She understood, actually. ‘You didn’t let them get near enough to matter.’