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‘So you make out like everything’s a bit of a joke. That you don’t care. But you donate to all those charity things. Just not publicly.’
‘I don’t want people to come to me so desperate for my support that they’ll do almost anything I want.’ A ripple of guilt went down his spine.
‘You don’t let anyone get that close,’ she said softly. ‘You’ve never trusted anyone with the truth of how you actually feel. You didn’t take comfort from your family.’
‘I didn’t need comfort,’ he said. ‘I could take care of myself.’
‘Everyoneneeds comfort.’
‘No, they don’t.’
‘Right, that’s why you support a rehab clinic for kids. Why you go visit them and encourage them. Because they don’t need comfort.’
‘That’s different.’
‘Why? Because they’re not as tough as you? Not as capable?’
‘They’re far braver than I ever was.’
‘Yet you say you didn’t need comfort.’
He rolled his shoulders. ‘Don’t, Skylar.’
‘I’m not judging you, Zane.’
‘No?’
‘No.’ She sighed. ‘We all do our best, but we all screw up sometimes. And most of us admit we need help sometimes. But not you. You won’t ever stop or ask for help. Or take a step back and say,I’m tired.’
‘I’m tired.’ He paused. ‘Of this conversation.’
He didn’t know why he’d thought it would be a good idea to start this. Why it would help in any way at all. Because now she was looking at him with soft sadness in her eyes and he did not want her pity. He didn’t want her feelingthatfor him.
‘Where’s your mother now?’ she asked.
‘Florida. Fiercely independent. Won’t retire even though I bought her a condo and made arrangements. She cancelled them. She doesn’t touch the account I opened for her.’
He wanted to take care of her and she wouldn’t let him and it rubbed everything that was raw inside and now hereallyregretted saying everything he had in the last half hour.
‘Maybe she feels like she doesn’t deserve your help because of what happened.’
‘Icaused that crash.’
‘It was anaccident.’
‘Stop.’
‘You’re invoking your safe word when we’re just talking?’
Yeah. Because he didn’t talk. He shouldn’t have said any of this to her.
‘So you do everything good quietly. And everything wicked with a smile.’
‘I make the tiniest of differences,’ he growled. ‘And I’m no saint. I bought the house of my dreams on the beach that I love and I have my Manhattan penthouse with a spectacular view. And you know I like my personal pleasures too.’ He drew in a sharp breath. ‘Money and power corrupts. Who’s to say it hasn’t corrupted me?’
‘Because you know what it is to be desperate and you wouldn’t take advantage of anyone in that state.
‘No?’ He looked at her bitterly. ‘Wouldn’t I take advantage of someone desperately wanting to convince me to do something about something they cared about?’