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‘I didn’t understand how much she wanted me to go away to that school.’ He cleared his throat. ‘I was too much, I guess. A scamp of a small boy. In trouble when I was bored—which was all the time in school. The teachers accelerated me but I was still a problem. She didn’t have the energy to cope with me.’
He’d been too young to understand just how hard she worked. How tired she must have been dealing with him. Because he hadn’t been easy. ‘She was in tears. And she lost it. She shouted at me for...’Everything. He swallowed. ‘She missed the traffic light.’
‘That was when you had the accident? On your way back?’
He’d taken the brunt—pinned in the car while his mother had been able walk free. And then everything was worse. So much worse. ‘I became even more of a burden.’
Medical bills. Constant hospital appointments. And no fancy boarding school to give her any respite from him.
‘Zane—’
‘I’d failed.’ So he’d never failed again. He didn’t lose. Ever. He worked and worked and worked until he won. Once he’d decided on a target, that was it. ‘She was upset because of me. Distracted because of me. If I hadn’t failed that interview, it wouldn’t have happened. The accident was—’
‘Anaccident,’ Skylar said firmly. ‘If anything, your mother could have taken a moment to calm down before driving.’
‘We had to get home quickly because she had to get to work. It wasn’t her fault.’
‘Okay,’ Skylar said. ‘But it certainly wasn’t yours either.’
He shook his head. He’d never forgotten his mother’s distress. He’d never wanted to make her—or anyone—that upset again. Not with his failings. Or his demands.
‘My grandfather came and stayed briefly. He told me I needed to keep it together. Not bother her. She already had to work hard enough and now there were my medical bills on top of everything. I had to be strong.’
‘What about your father? Did he ever help?’
Zane looked at her. ‘My mere existence was too much for him. He cleared off when I was three.’
He’d worked hard. He’d absorbed the pain. Learned to be quiet about it. Then worked to get stronger. He’d suppressed everything—including his own emotion—to protect his mother because he knew he’d let her down. He’d cost her the freedom that scholarship would have given her. And he’d learned to damn well smile and mask it all.WithoutHelberg.
‘I smiled and acted like nothing ever touched me. Nothing ever bothered me. Nothing everhurt. I can hide hurt, Skylar.’ It had become habit.
‘Yes.’ She looked troubled. Almost guilty.
That moment in the stairwell just after her father had found them flashed before him. When she’d stood silently, letting him take the blame. Letting him be verbally abused. Not speaking up.
He’d hidden his hurt then too. Because hehadbeen hurt. The best moment of his life till then had turned atrocious in seconds. He pushed it away and pivoted to what should have been his main point all along.
‘I never forgot, neverforgaveReed Helberg. He made a snap judgment and didn’t change his mind about me no matter what I did from then on. I know his opinion shouldn’t matter yet it always did.’ Zane had channelled his anger towards Helberg. It had been easiest to. ‘No one person should have that much power over some kid’s life. Why choose justonelucky recipient? Why change only one student’s life?’ The man had been so damned wealthy—until he’d begun to run his company into the ground with a series of bad choices. ‘What about all the others? Why not lift the performance of the whole damn school instead of scooping out that one stellar student and sending them somewhere supposedly better.’
Skylar stared at his hands. ‘You’re the anonymous donor behind the new gym at our old school.’
He shot her surprised look. ‘You know there’s a new gym?’
‘I’m still on the email list for the newsletter.’
‘Of course you are.’ He blinked.
‘What about the new science lab?’
‘That too,’ he mumbled. ‘And the music room.’
‘Anything else? A library?’
‘A physical rehab centre at the health clinic in town,’ he muttered. ‘For kids and people who need to rebuild strength after accidents like mine.’
‘And that’s anonymous too?’
He had to drop his gaze from hers. ‘I call in there sometimes. But I don’t want my name over anything. It’s not about me.’