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Ni-co-de-mus. Four freaking syllables. I’m intrigued. “Hello, Nicodemusness.” Oops, still drunk. “I’m Binaca—I meanBianca.”

“I know,” he purrs. Mr. Four Syllables is purring at me.

Wait. Four syllables in hisfirstname—what if there’s still aLancehiding somewhere else in his name? “What’s your surname?”

“O’Henricksbergh.”

“Middle name?”

He mutters, “Percival.”

“Wait… let me get this straight.” The room is spinning faster now. “Acastlecalled me and your full name is Nicodemus Percival O’Henricksbergh.” I know my eyes are recklessly wide as I speak his entire name and I’m totally amazed that I could even do it. No way I could do it again. “That’s like abazillionsyllables… that’s like all theToddsandColesandClaysandJacksput together.”

His chuckle is delightfully warm, teasing my drunken lady parts a little too effectively. “I assure you, Lady Bianca, that I am more of a man than all of those cads put together.”

Something is bellowing at me from within the currently inebriated warning section of my mind. “How do you know about them?” I breathe with only one accompanying hiccup.

“Because I’ve been watching you, Lady Bianca. Watching and waiting for you to finally claim your destiny.”

“My destiny?” I squeeze my eyes closed to see if that helps with the spinning. Nope. “How do you know about my density…destiny, I mean?”

With no hesitation, he says, “BecauseIam your destiny—weare, actually.”

“We? There’s awein my density?”

A smooth laugh answers me. “Yes, my dear,weare yourdensity.”

I giggle as he adopts my incorrect word choice. “I don’t know if I’m ready for awe… I’ve had my struggles with just solo, one-syllable, bore-o-ramas—I’d hate to disappoint a crowd next time.”

“You couldneverdisappoint us,” he declares with a tingle-inducing growl. “You are a miracle, Lady Bianca. The light of our lives. The hope in our hearts. We may not be worthy of you, but your worthiness could never be doubted. If you need proof, I’d be more than happy to bring you the heads of all your ex-boyfriends.”

I hear someone else, a gentler voice warning Nicodemus not to get too scary and violent with his offer, but honestly, the heads of all those jerks decorating my yard sounds awesome. Just think what my joyless neighbors would say about that, and the homeowners association board… they would be less than amused in a fabulous way.

“Nicomusmuss,” I stammer between two hiccups. “I like you. It’s a nice offer, really, but things like that just aren’t done. And I think…” I pause while my thoughts do a loop-de-loop and I get totally lost.

Eventually, he inquires, “Whatdo you think?”

“I thinkbed. Time. Now?”

“Wait,” he says with urgency.

“What for?”

“May we have permission?” he asks formally.

I swallow and remember that I ate a lot of ice cream before the drinking commenced, but no dinner… huh, that might prove questionable. “Permission? For what?”

Voices in the background distract my focus before Nico-mus says, “The inhabitants of Clumberton Castle request formal permission to court you.”

I hiccup in response. Then belch. Ugh. “I don’t think this phone call is real. Whose name has that many syllables anyway? But if you can prove that your name does in fact contain that many syllables… then yes, you and your castle-mates may court me. Kay?”

Then, like a quickly wilting flower, I perform a full-body droop onto the floor, instantly snuggling into my fluffy rug, barely hearing the melody in his voice as he says, “I’ll see you soon.”

Chapter6

Nicodemus

“You did it!” Archie booms, his entire massive body trembling with excitement.