Page 98

“Gods, it’s been years.” She walks back to the carriage.

My feet won’t cooperate.

“The Centress mentioned you were in Sonnet. She said I should keep an eye out for you, but I didn’t take her seriously.” She swipes three more baskets. My feet kick into gear, and I race after her, lunging to rip the baskets from her hands. She lets out a yelp and shoves me back with them. I fall on my ass in the lush, green Calderan grass, still stunned and unable to process the scene before me. She schleps the baskets to the water’s edgeand sends them sailing over the misty falls while I pull myself up again.

No. My heart free falls with the silent babies. “What are you doing?”

“This carriage is late as it is. I have to get home. We can chat while I work. Tell me everything you’ve been up to.”

“You killed them.” I put myself between her and the carriage.

“What? They’re fine. The baskets are imbued with protection. I’ll hike down after and bring them to the shelter like I always do.” She tries to shove past me, but I block her.

I can’t wrap my head around it. She dropped them right off the edge. I force myself to believe her, so I can breathe again. “How could you take part in this? These babies’ mothers are crying for them. Sonnet is their home.”

“Don’t make this difficult, Everielle. You know how much I care for you, but this isn’t about you.”

“I know what the Centress is doing.”

She softens, folding her arms over her chest and letting her eyes find mine. “I’ve known her a long time. Longer than I’ve known you.”

Maybe I don’t want to hear the answer, but my words spill out anyway, unsure if they’re asking or telling. “Then you know who she is.”

Cam taps her fingers against her arms, frowning. “You know.”

I lose it. “You knew I had family all those years and never told me? You let me go from home to home my entire childhood.”

“There was no other way.”

“You could have returned me to her,” I yell.

“Oh, hun, don’t you see? She didn’t want you. I was sixteen when she handed you over in a basket and told me to find you a home.”

It’s no different from hurling me into a solid wall. The pain breaks me just the same. I can’t escape it. It’s too strong, too deep. Too real.

All this time, my mother knew where I was, how to find me. She didn’t want to make the time to keep me—not even for that one year before sending me to live at school. She didn’t want to know me. I truly was a waste of space in her eyes, a burden she didn’t care to take on. She sent me away like every foster parent did.

“She’s doing what she has to do,” Cam offers, as if that makes it alright.

“How long has she been doing this?” Tears well in my eyes. How many babies grew up without mothers because of her? Grew up like me?

I break into pieces—one for every home that took me in, one for every time I believed it would be the last time and one for every time I was wrong. I’m too broken to let the tears loose. The years of searching, the library trips, the records office, the wondering. Ugh, and thehoping. That’s the worst part…the years of hoping. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. My blood snakes through me, thick with grief.

“That’s enough questions.” Her chin lowers, and she glances toward the carriage behind me.

“No, I have more. I need answers. I have to find my friend, and I’m going to fix this fucked-up situation. I won’t let her break more families.”

“Watch your tongue.”

“I’m not a damn child anymore.” I take a step to the side, anticipating her next move. “And I’m not going to let her control Calderans with that elixir either.”

“Actually, it’s time for you to take a concentrated dose of the elixir and ride this carriage back into Sonnet. Your mother will be looking for you.” Cam dives, tackling me to the ground—notthe move I was expecting. A rock bites into my side, and the crack of bone rivets through me. I cry out, breathless and sharp.

“Cam?” I mutter, unable to accept this reality. She was my person growing up. My only one.

She sits on top of me, black hair wet with mist, sticking to her face, holding my arms flat at my sides against the grass. “This kills me. You don’t know how much.”

“You can let me go,” I gasp out through the pain, trying to bury it somewhere deep, far from my awareness. “I won’t tell the Centress I saw you.”