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ELIVANDER

I will not be erased. I will not be erased. I will not be erased from the one person who’s ever looked beyond the curse. I repeat it as I drag my feet toward her, her pain plowing through me.

I don’t know what the fuck just happened with Kelter, but I’ll deal with it later, whatever we did. The bastard actually killed me. Or would have…if I could die. This world is stuck with me until I have a son to take on the mistake. It’s worse, though—to feel all the pain and not be saved by death.

But now—I’ll save her. She was mine from the start. I thought I’d do anything to get what I need from her. I was prepared to destroy her, to go to any length to escape this torture and neverpass it on. But not anymore. Not since she worked herself so deep into my head, a better escape than drumming, a presence that distracts from all the rest. Not since I felt the fear of losing her. So early on, I saw the familiar torment in her eyes—and couldn’t look away.

I can’t lose her.

She’s my Never Ever, my fucking addiction until the end of time. I need her breath, her body, her blood. Her little hands, that mouth, those eyes. I need all of her. I may not be able to die, but I swear if anything happens to her, it will take my life.

And that’s where it has to end—with me. I’ve already let her get too attached. I can’t tell her about the other part of this damn curse and how I fucked up and fell for her, how everything’s at risk—if she falls for me too. I can’t let that happen, and she can never know what I’ve done to stop it. It’s ironic though…If she knew, she’d never love me.

I don’t know how many memories the Centress has taken from her—if the earliest ones go first or the most recent ones, if I’m already gone from her head…if our last day together is gone.

I take one last look at Kelter collapsed on the ground behind me then scan the atrium. The guards haven’t returned, but knowing they’re probably getting their fix of violence with Milo and the others underground has me planning every detail of their deaths.

The Centress holds Never’s back to her chest, her eyes shut tight as she pours pain into every cell of her body. I’ll kill her for what she’s doing. Nobody fucking touches her but me. No crazy bitch Centress erases me from her mind.

It’s bad enough I failed to protect her over and over. What’s the point of being what I am if I can’t keep her safe, if all I managed to do when I felt her pain was pound the walls until my hands were black-and-blue? They drew her fucking blood,myblood. I wanted her to know she wasn’t alone—but she was.

Never again.

She’s drenched in rainwater, light and dark at once, sharp-edged and smoldering, like a star that fell too far, too damn stubborn to stop burning. Her body contracts all over under the pain, and even as I hobble forward to save her, the fierce wind trying to take down my weakened body, I can’t get those moments together out of my mind—a constant problem since it’s full of the thoughts and desires of the thousands of men that make me up.

I feel her again as if she’s still under me. That’s what she does to me. I can’t help but notice her face is screwed up like when I twisted her nipples until she couldn’t take it anymore, and her cries are the same as when she came, pulsing around me while I fucked us both into oblivion.

Oblivion. That’s where she’s headed if I don’t stop this.

The pain intensifies the closer I get, and it’s not the would-be fatal gash in my throat—which is also wrecking me. She must be in pure misery if I feel like this. The storm is relentless now, a near constant barrage of thunder and lightning, though she doesn’t seem to notice. I can’t feel a trace of terror from her anymore, only a current of turbulent emotions I can’t hold onto, like how it felt before my little prisoner cuffed me…my little rebel.

Her eyes are open, though might as well be closed for the lack of light in them. But that color, damn. It brings out the blue-purple tint creeping over her skin right now. And as fucking beautiful as it is, all I want to do is hold her in my arms and take away the cold and pain.

I’m too weak for a fight, so I slide up against Never and wrap my arms around her lower back, squishing them between her and the Centress…her mother. She’s as unlucky as me. Her forehead falls against my chest, and the blood from my neckdrips onto the top of her head. Even with the gutting pain she shovels into me, I don’t ever want to let her go.

And I won’t. I’ll keep her. She’ll never get away—and never want to. Just because I can’t have her heart doesn’t mean she won’t have mine. I’ll be there for every tear and nightmare, every smile and swear word. I’ll be the face she sees after every vision. I’ll be the arms that rock her to sleep and sing the song that plays in her head. I’ll bring out the fight in her, the violence, and destroy anyone who gets in my way.

And through it all, I’ll never ever let her love me.

The Centress’ eyes are now open and glowering. She tries to throw me off, but she isn’t willing to let go of Never to actually succeed. Neither am I, so I stay, holding her tight. She’smine.

I reach for my blocking, as ancient and instinctual as my heartbeat, and pour it into her, a wall of armor against the Centress’ magic.The pain will be over soon, I promise her with a squeeze, and I speak into her ear, offering the only words that come to me—one last memory of me if no others are left.

But the pain doesn’t go away. Hers or mine. It rivets through my bones, promising to leave them in shards. It’s as thoughshe’sblockingme…

I can’t take away her pain.

But I will not be erased.

I will not be invisible, not to her. I have to stop this, but I’m barely hanging on. I’ve lost so much blood, and whatever happened with Kelter made me even weaker.

Never’s wet boot jabs me in the shin. Then again and again, kicking and kicking. Her trapped arms push on my stomach. I hold her tighter through the pain and focus on blocking. If I can get it to work, if I can stop it for long enough—

Her knee clobbers me in the balls. Again. What is her obsession with destroying them? I fall away from her, my hands slipping past her waist, and curl up in a ball on the wet stonesof the atrium. Hot daggers stab through my core, sharpened and amplified by her waves of tortured agony. They shatter like glass inside me. I retch until my body shudders and my intestines tie in knots.

And I’m too weak to get back up.

I failed.