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Chapter 25

For a second I considered going back to the bar, but I was too angry. So I walked home. For the first time since I’d overheard Kaden and Rachel in Portland, I wasn’t sad. There was no room for any other emotion besides anger. Especially when I saw the Jeep parked outside our building.

That asshole had left me standing in the parking lot and driven straight home. Not to mention stunt he’d pulled at the club.

I raced up the stairs. When I reached the door, my hand was shaking so much that it took me four tries to get the key into the lock and open the door.

Loud music thumped from Kaden’s room.

I chucked my shoes into the hallway, trashing Kaden’s perfect order.

My hands clenched, I stomped toward his room. Without a moment’s hesitation, I shoved open the door with full force. Not even bothering to look at Kaden, I headed for the stereo and started pressing buttons. Nothing happened. With a frustrated cry, I bent down and pulled the plug from the socket. Silence.

I turned to Kaden. “What the fuck are you doing?”

He was sitting on his bed, bent forward, with his arms on his thighs, and something that looked like a bag of frozen vegetables on his right hand.

He said nothing, but stared downward.

“I asked you a question,” I said, raising my voice.

“I heard you.” There was no emotion in his voice.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

He was silent and kept his gaze downward.

I didn’t know what to do with my anger. What I wanted to do was just shake him. His actions tonight hurt more than anything I’d heard him say to his mother. I didn’t deserve to be treated like this.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked. “I know that things got a bit too intense between us, okay? And I’m sorry that you got involved in my whole dramatic story. But you wanted me to tell you everything. That’s no reason to be mean now. That just ruins everything, Kaden. Everything.”

“And what if that’s what I want to do?” he whispered.

“Why should you?” I hissed.

Kaden looked at the bag on his hand. “I don’t know any other way to be.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” My voice had become calm without my even trying.

Kaden stood up. He let the bag fall on the floor and took one single, slow step toward me.

“I’m an asshole, Allie,” he said, his voice disquietingly soft, his dark eyes unfathomable. “A major asshole, who even punches out his best friend. Get used to it. It’s not going to change.”

I snorted. “You didn’t hit Spencer because you’re an asshole. You did it because you couldn’t handle seeing me with another guy.”

“Yeah.”

“You can’t handle it because something happened in the past that you never talk about, and… ” I stopped and stared at him. “What did you just say?”

He took another step toward me. “Yeah.”

I backed away. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Kaden exhaled slowly. He rubbed his hands a few times over his face, shaking his head. When he let his hands drop, his expression was no longer remote and closed, but gentle.

“Yes, Allie. Yes, seeing you and Spencer like that drove me crazy. Yes, I’m insecure, and all that scares me half to death. Yes, after Kendra I’ve never let anyone else in, and yes, I hate that you arouse my need to be open, to give myself.”

My breath stopped. The blood rushed into my ears as I stared at Kaden with an open mouth.