Page 61
Story: Begin Again
“Why would I?” I looked up at him. His expression was serious.
“The last time you flipped out, you wanted to pack all your things and move out,” he reminded me.
“And that’s why you think I would jump off a cliff?” I asked, surprised.
He shrugged. “That time you went into hysterics because of your exam. Since you took that exam again today, I’m ready for anything. You can be unpredictable.”
From up here the world seemed to stretch out forever. The heavens above us shone an intense midnight blue. Sitting down, I inhaled the fresh air and concentrated on how I was feeling, right here and now.
That was the key.
I’d come here to recapture this feeling. Thanks to that one moment when I forgot the world and felt nothing but freedom. Without thinking, I smiled. The longer I let this moment exist the less tense I felt. My negative thoughts faded one after the other, and even the knot in my stomach began to loosen.
“The exam was great,” I said after a while, without taking my eyes off the view. Though night had fallen, the lake was glittering down in the valley. I was sure I’d soon see the evening’s first star reflected in its surface.
“So you’re not going to throw yourself off this cliff? Or pack your stuff in a rage?” Kaden sat beside me. He leaned back on his arms and crossed his outstretched legs.
I shook my head, and my smile faded. “Thanksgiving’s around the corner. Scott, Dawn, and you… You all have plans. But I… ” I stopped and cleared my throat. “I don’t want to be the poor thing who spends the holidays all alone, just because I’m too proud to go home. Not that I could call it home. After all, you’ve met my mother.”
Kaden huffed. “Believe me, I couldn’t forget someone like that so fast.”
I let out a joyless laugh. “And even if I were to fly to Lincoln—what good would that do? Mom wouldn’t pay any attention to me anyway. She’ll be too busy playing the perfect hostess at her stupid gala. Dad will be involved in important conversations, and as usual he won’t have time for me—except to introduce me to one of his business partners… ” I blinked several times to get those images out of my mind. I didn’t want to think about the past. But I also knew that holding it in would make it harder for me to deal with it once and for all. I kept on losing this fight.
“You’re thinking too much, Bubbles,” said Kaden, and I looked at him. He was gazing at the sky. “You’re always obsessing over what others might be thinking, without ever thinking about whatyouwant. Sometimes it’s really important to do what’s best for you.”
I sighed. “Believe me, I’d love to be like you.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“You don’t give a damn what others think. Hardly anything seems to shake you up.”
“You shake me up,” said Kaden without missing a beat. He didn’t seem to regret blurting this out. His gaze was fixed on me.
“The way the thing about Thanksgiving shakes me up?” I asked, confused.
Kaden considered my words, then shook his head. “No. You don’t scare me quite that much, Bubbles.”
A warmth spread through my entire body.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about Thanksgiving. “Do you think I’m making a mistake by not going to Lincoln?”
He chuckled and looked back over the valley. “Didn’t you hear me? Think aboutyourselffor a change. Think about whatyouwant. Not about your mother, not about your friends. The question is: What do you want to do over the holidays? Is there something you always wanted to do? Or do you just want just hang out and contaminate the apartment with your nasty glitter bombs? You can to whatever you want. It’s your life, Allie.”
I repeated his words in my mind, and internalized them.
After a while, I cleared my throat. “Don’t laugh, okay?”
“I can’t guarantee anything,” he answered, and I saw how the corners of his mouth were already beginning to twitch.
I rolled my eyes. At least he was honest. I shifted into a cross-legged position.
“I’ve always wanted a really traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Homemade turkey and pies, lots of side dishes and a huge table that you decorate and set together. And then this kitschy ritual where you mention all the things you’re thankful for.”
Kaden frowned. “What does your family eat, then?”
“We have caterers who deliver the meal. Snacks to tide us over until the gala starts,” I explained. “Plenty of wine, of course. Wine helps my dad get lots of contracting partners to relax. It makes it easier to get deals done. And at the gala itself there’s a three-course menu, usually soup, then lamb or some other meat and… ” Kaden’s look of bewilderment was growing. I paused. “What?”
“Are you saying you’ve never been to a traditional Thanksgiving dinner?”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61 (Reading here)
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127